Dogs and Animals: It hurts when I pee

It hurts when I pee

By yomamma787 - 24/11/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 898

You deserved it 54 455

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 31/08/2014 17:51 - United States

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 515

You deserved it 3 876

Shout the victory

By dogpatch087 - 02/01/2020 03:00 - United States - Ventura

Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 505

By Anon - 24/03/2012 02:42 - United States

Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 411

You deserved it 32 295

By thanksdad - 16/03/2014 19:28 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 820

You deserved it 6 292

By Username - 15/07/2011 19:51 - United States

Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 202

You deserved it 7 945

By Anonymous - 29/02/2012 16:52 - United States

Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 410

You deserved it 32 997

By mraow123 - 30/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 394

You deserved it 4 660

By Broderick - 26/03/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 076

You deserved it 6 961

By Chandler - 16/09/2011 19:26 - United States

Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 850

You deserved it 2 936

By Koko - 07/04/2016 16:07 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my dog was so happy to see me that he laid down on his back and started pissing like a fountain. He pissed on everything around him, including me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 785

You deserved it 1 942

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Tuesday 24 November 2009 20:04

What a prick.

Stumblebum30 5

Tuesday 24 November 2009 20:24

do you think the world is your toilet? dumb ass

Comments

gravenhex 0

Monday 27 February 2012 21:57

Knifedick

BCrazzi 9

Monday 21 May 2012 23:10

Why wer u peeing in a cactus?....

BCrazzi 9

Monday 21 May 2012 23:52

Why were you peeing on a cactus?

ShitHappens12318 10

Monday 11 June 2012 3:25

YDI for peeing on a cactus. Would you like it if someone peed on you while you were just standing outside, minding your own business?? Thought so.

Iamme30069 5

Thursday 28 June 2012 3:56

It hurt reading that

DMAN80182001 15

Friday 18 April 2014 7:16

And why were you peeing on a cactus?

Auromo 14

Wednesday 11 June 2014 8:16

oh Ya free dick piercing

A07 48

Friday 4 July 2014 8:37

Because pee is what cactuses really need.

Grandpa_Gray 5

Thursday 21 August 2014 4:25

Dog is like "**** OFF THATS MY CACTUS YOU BITCH!"

skatergal99 17

Saturday 22 November 2014 21:51

Why the **** would you pee on a cactus

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Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 444

You deserved it 3 015

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in The Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 650

You deserved it 8 222

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 34 221

You deserved it 3 543

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I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 1 157

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I agree, your life sucks 43 573

You deserved it 5 915

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I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 1 137

Today, I had a planned 12-hour power cut for maintenance work, which I'd forgot all about. In need of a shower before work, I spent 45 minutes boiling pots of water on the stove to take a lukewarm, 6-inch deep bath, before realizing my water heater runs on natural gas and was working fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 055

You deserved it 29 765

Today, I found out I'm being sued by the man whose life I practically saved a month ago. He says the way I pulled him out of the car he was trapped in has left him with permanent back problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 475

You deserved it 3 468

It hurts when I pee

Same thing different taste

Shout the victory

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