Health: It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again...

It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again...

By Anonymous - 14/06/2018 20:30

Today, after showering and moisturising, I turned my fan on to max blast. I got covered in clumps of dust, which I had to take another shower to remove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 863

You deserved it 1 030

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Same thing different taste

By Carmen - 26/02/2011 13:57 - United States

Today, I painted an area I had carefully sanded, cleaned, and taped off. I pulled a fan out of the closet to help dry it faster. I turned the fan on, and a million dust particles flew off onto the wet paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 833

You deserved it 31 906

By LXA429 - 12/03/2010 07:35 - United States

Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 881

You deserved it 32 418

Drying times

By helplesssssss - 07/08/2009 21:31 - United States

Today, I took a shower in a beach house we're renting for the week. Once I get out, I realize the house doesn't supply towels, my entire family was outside in the front yard, my phone was upstairs, and there are no blinds. I stood under a ceiling fan naked for 20 minutes trying to dry off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 152

You deserved it 15 167

By Anonymous - 17/05/2012 21:54 - United States - Spring

Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 332

You deserved it 2 191

By Anonymous - 11/07/2014 17:45 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 671

You deserved it 18 315

Bad start to the day

By Concussed - 17/01/2010 06:22 - Australia

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 731

You deserved it 6 071

BO Central

By jess - 16/12/2020 06:02 - United States - Denver

Today, I was loudly asked if I'd rubbed poop all over myself this morning. I shower three times a day, brush my teeth for 10 minutes twice a day, and wear copious amounts of antiperspirant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 681

You deserved it 1 718

Slicy slicy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I was getting ready for a date, so to avoid stinky pits, I went to put some deodorant on. However, when I raised my arm to apply it, I almost sliced my hand off when I raised it right into the ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 627

You deserved it 978

By lateralligator - 12/12/2014 16:35 - Canada - Whitchurch-stouffville

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 996

You deserved it 4 606

Smells like teen spirit of America

By Clogged Nose - 19/03/2020 02:32

Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 711

You deserved it 147

TyrionLannister 17

Thursday 14 June 2018 20:33

Interesting technique.

openawhole00 6

Friday 15 June 2018 2:53

and to think, somebody is stealing a 2 month olds piggy bank to get the spa treatment you got for free

Comments

TyrionLannister 17

Thursday 14 June 2018 20:33

Interesting technique.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 14 June 2018 21:27

Sounds like the shit hit the fan ... and then you.

Glowworm56 26

Thursday 14 June 2018 21:30

Ooh, you had a dust bath afterwards. I heard those are marvelous if you're a chinchilla.

Glowworm56 26

Thursday 14 June 2018 21:30

Ooh, you had a dust bath afterwards. I heard those are marvelous if you're a chinchilla.

bluhbluhbluh 14

Thursday 14 June 2018 21:49

Instant mud mask? love it.

PenguinPal3017 19

Friday 15 June 2018 2:30

Shower, moisturize, repeat.

openawhole00 6

Friday 15 June 2018 2:53

and to think, somebody is stealing a 2 month olds piggy bank to get the spa treatment you got for free

weeping_willow 25

Friday 15 June 2018 5:22

At least you didn’t sit down in urine!

Lobby_Bee 17

Friday 15 June 2018 6:01

Those help exfoliate your body.

Davros 12

Friday 15 June 2018 7:43

Sounds like you need to scrub more than just your ass

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I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 18

Today, I accidentally fell asleep at work after working a 12-hour shift. Instead of waking me up, my coworkers spiked my coffee mug with whiskey and told my boss I was drunk. My boss wouldn't even listen to my side of the story and fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 707

You deserved it 2 991

The Top

Today, after being friends with a guy, age 35, for a year, he asked if we could progress the relationship romantically. I'm keen but it's been a month, and the closest touching we have done is a hug. Slowest relationship ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 238

Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 356

You deserved it 6 660

Today, I was really stressed, so I tried to let it out by crying. It lasted about 30 seconds, and I was making fun of myself the whole time. Even my subconscious thinks I'm pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 783

You deserved it 5 256

Today, I got fired. There was a customer last night who showed up 2 minutes after our closing time, 11 p.m.. She knocked on the door many times, but I ignored her and kept sweeping the floor. She eventually left. Turns out she’s the VP’s daughter and told him I was “rude and inconsiderate” to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 217

Today, my boyfriend trapped me in a corner of our apartment and kept making sounds that he knows cause me to become violently angry (I have misophonia). He wouldn't stop, even though I was practically begging him to, and now he's mad that I freaked out and broke his nose to get away from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 135

Today, I'm in a new curriculum and I was doing science work online, when a teacher told me I had been doing Grade 7 science this whole semester, all because some stand-in teacher assigned me the wrong thing at the beginning of the year. Time to catch up a whole six months of work. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 79