Sex, Farts and Intimacy: It's getting hot in here

It's getting hot in here

By cold-n-stinky - 12/01/2010 06:30 - United States

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said, "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 156

You deserved it 9 504

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Love is…

By gassygirlfriend - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Nampa

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 370

You deserved it 5 274

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 928

You deserved it 6 524

By Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 455

You deserved it 809

By yoked - 18/12/2009 03:48 - United States

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 192

You deserved it 4 640

By Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 732

You deserved it 36 358

By hotboxed - 13/07/2019 18:30

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 611

You deserved it 393

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 112

You deserved it 41 513

Love is…

By Anonymous - 29/07/2012 04:25 - Denmark - Frederiksberg

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 310

You deserved it 3 886

Filth

By roughsexgonewrong - 05/11/2013 18:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying, "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 247

You deserved it 11 623

By steve-o - 14/02/2019 15:46 - United States

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 914

You deserved it 4 195

scheme 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:16

owned

Craig92EIRE 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:32

at least you're warm:)

Comments

alexwilliamson 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:15

Yeah, **** your life.

Justforlolz 14

Thursday 15 July 2010 21:15

That wuz pretty dam funny. Lolz and least your warm.

Fmyspam 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 23:18

Or **** your wife.

dylly17 4

Tuesday 27 December 2011 4:20

This isn't an FML. Don't take it so seriously :P Your wife was just joking around!

gearsawar2 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:15

first

Spac3Ghost 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 15:02

fail =()

robosonic 2

Sunday 1 August 2010 10:44

WTF is a threadjack anyway?

CrazyDutch 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 7:35

wow... you must be scared for life

crymore007 11

Saturday 6 August 2011 2:40

yeah 106 I'd be pretty frightened too

crymore007 11

Saturday 6 August 2011 2:40

yeah 106 I'd be pretty frightened too

scheme 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:16

owned

fireflames113 6

Friday 8 April 2011 5:05

very much so

Jesta05 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:19

YDI for using sucha cheesy line

memcp 0

Sunday 6 February 2011 8:11

Agreed! (;

PinkGirl246 8

Saturday 9 February 2013 20:21

I think it's a great line(: very romantic... Until the fart fest..

helloimkellay 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:26

thats disgusting.

ShannyAK 16

Tuesday 3 July 2012 23:20

Everyone farts

PinkGirl246 8

Saturday 9 February 2013 20:23

Its natural! If my boyfriend did that I'd laugh so hard!

dc120994 11

Saturday 18 April 2015 2:48

that's called true love

Craig92EIRE 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:32

at least you're warm:)

shoieb9 14

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:37

Was about to say that :D

i_wuz_nver_here 31

Sunday 9 January 2011 7:51

warm and smelly.

itouchguy360 3

Tuesday 12 January 2010 12:47

So your wife has a sick sense of humor? Not really an fml.

SliceNthrice 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 13:07

Your fml gave me a boner. That's one H O T wife.

teenager34 0

Wednesday 14 April 2010 1:42

lmao

maddieguinn 0

Monday 19 April 2010 0:32

hahhahahahahah wtf

me5 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 13:10

Times are a-changing! 

Skullcrusher 5

Tuesday 12 January 2010 13:37

#2 - You wish!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 623

You deserved it 42 685

Today, I finally decided to tell my partner that I was sexually harassed by another guy in high school. When I got to the point, she rolled her eyes, stopped me and said, "Why can't you just tell me something nice? I don't want to hear about it, it's triggering me." Well, thanks for your attention, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 101

The Top

Today, my sister, who has been seeing a guy for a year, got engaged. I've been dating my boyfriend for over 5 years and let out some not so subtle hints and he basically refused to propose. This is her second marriage in the time of my relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 179

You deserved it 2 586

Today, as I was leaving for a 2-week vacation after working my ass off for 2 years, my area manager handed me a project. It's a 3-week job, and he told me he needs it when I get back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 125

You deserved it 170

Today, my hubby found it funny to draw a smiling face out of nail polish on his penis. He found it much less funny when I had to use nail polish remover to take it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 158

Today, I had to teach my grandma how to burn files to CDs. I jokingly said that it doesn't involve literally burning the disks in fire, to which she responded by slapping me and calling me a patronizing brat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 979

You deserved it 14 150

Today, I was advised to never have kids because they ruin your life, ruin your body, cost you money, stress you out, and the end result is they become an adult you don’t even really like or would choose to spend time with if you weren’t related. It was both my parents who gave me this advice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 314

You deserved it 244

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex quite aggressively. Towards the end, he lifted his hips off the bed and then headbutted me in the nose. The only thing that came today was blood all over my new bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 508

You deserved it 3 752

It's getting hot in here

Same thing different taste

Love is…

The language of love

Love is…

Filth

Top comments

Comments