Allergies and Love: It's getting hott in here

It's getting hott in here

By Burning Love - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Phoenix

Today, I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look like I burned my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 626

You deserved it 5 462

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Same thing different taste

By Ticklish - 13/04/2014 09:33 - United States - Marion

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 694

You deserved it 4 458

Read the room

By Mortified concert-cougher - 29/04/2023 18:00

Today, I went to a concert. About halfway through, it went quiet at the start of a solo acoustic song. My allergies chose this time to react to some audience member’s strong perfume. I tried to hold back my coughing, but I couldn’t. I found myself interrupting the entire show with a loud drawn-out coughing fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 133

Classic fraud

By Anonymous - 28/04/2023 15:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 161

Puffy

By blow me - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Vermont

Today, I bought some pricey lipstick for a date tonight. An hour after putting it on, my lips are so swollen, I look like a blow-up sex doll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 248

You deserved it 3 508

Zit remedy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting ready for a date when I noticed a spot on my chin. To get rid of it, I applied my sister's spot cream rather than picking it off. Within minutes, my entire chin looked like a swollen tomato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 201

You deserved it 7 346

Rash decision

By FilthyIke - 21/08/2009 20:17 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 767

You deserved it 4 386

Smoking is so cool

By Burnt - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 897

You deserved it 61 546

Great, just great

By lax22 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, thirty minutes after the end of a great date with a great girl, she texted me, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 169

You deserved it 6 311

Here comes the sunbed

By Aiaiii - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Germany

Today, I spent some time in a sunbed to prepare myself for a very special reunion with my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in 6 months. I hope he likes crispy red butt-cheeks, and I wonder whether they will start peeling before or after he returns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 593

You deserved it 37 327

Right back!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 410

You deserved it 932

rhysfucker 24

Saturday 15 March 2014 15:57

At least he didn't ask you if his handkerchief smelled like chloroform.

NoMore_CoolNames 14

Saturday 15 March 2014 15:58

This girl is on fire.

Comments

BassTurdo 22

Saturday 15 March 2014 15:54

Your love was so strong it was fiery

alphabetta 23

Saturday 15 March 2014 21:50

Wow, even worse than one of my puns- and that's saying something. *applause*

kaimariebee 15

Saturday 15 March 2014 22:56

Wut..

Erery 16

Tuesday 18 March 2014 7:30

Lawl Stfu.

BassTurdo 22

Saturday 15 March 2014 15:56

Burning love

Mynamewontfi 40

Saturday 15 March 2014 15:59

That indeed is OP's name, good job.

Jaaared_ 15

Saturday 15 March 2014 16:00

Just stop trying.

magickitten 26

Saturday 15 March 2014 18:59

One fail was bad enough....stop trying to be funny.

i_h8t_everything 12

Saturday 15 March 2014 22:22

You already wasted the first comment on a crappy joke. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO RUIN THE SECOND???

jdlanam87 9

Tuesday 18 March 2014 5:53

I don't get it joke 1-2 both negative marks but 3 just as cheesy all positive. Wth. Lighten up people. They're jokes

tpm45 25

Saturday 15 March 2014 15:56

Where there is desire there is gunna be a flame.

zandalee 19

Saturday 15 March 2014 23:26

Love is a battle field

maebelline12 12

Sunday 16 March 2014 22:40

And where there is a flame someone's bound to get burned.

Tobber 16

Sunday 23 March 2014 10:01

Am I only dreaming? Or is this burning an eternal flame?

GirlGamer12345 22

Saturday 15 March 2014 15:57

So magical

rhysfucker 24

Saturday 15 March 2014 15:57

At least he didn't ask you if his handkerchief smelled like chloroform.

REALAfroninga 11

Sunday 16 March 2014 5:35

That's my pick up line! It really stinks when you have to carry her out of the bar!

NoMore_CoolNames 14

Saturday 15 March 2014 15:58

This girl is on fire.

TheCrispyCat 20

Saturday 15 March 2014 19:19

Katniss?

happyforever 15

Saturday 15 March 2014 19:23

Alicia Keys? :D

Ilovemysphynx 19

Saturday 15 March 2014 15:59

Well usually the tingles are in the stomach, not the face. Maybe next time op!

Mynamewontfi 40

Saturday 15 March 2014 16:02

Nothing says love more than a burned face.

Kibaruto 33

Saturday 15 March 2014 16:03

Cologne you say? Love stinks.

angelitared 27

Saturday 15 March 2014 16:08

Quick! To the Benadryl!

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Gross Animals Cats Awkward Smells Love Miscellaneous Embarrassing Health Painful First Dates Work Christmas Grieving Social Media Music Anniversary Boredom Intimacy Abuse Ironic Transportation Am I overreacting? Alcohol Drunk AITA Kids Parents Gun control

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mix it up and find a good place outdoors to have fun. After an hour of climbing up a rocky mountainside to a completely isolated clearing, out of the way of any hiking path, he was still so paranoid that he finished within 20 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 460

You deserved it 2 166

Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished, I jokingly said, "Who's going to sleep in the wet patch?" He got up and said, "You're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing." It was my first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 576

You deserved it 4 529

The Top

Today, I stood down from 12 years on the committee of a sports team. I did a lot for the team, I raised funds, organized events, arranged travel. Other people do something minor and get "Star of the Month" awards but I was never recognized with the same in 12 years or even a "Thank you" when I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 103

Today, my boyfriend humped me to the tune of the Imperial March from Star Wars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 663

You deserved it 6 724

Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 466

You deserved it 2 900

Today, the lawn I've been devoting all my efforts to saving from a nasty grub infestation isn't going to make it, but apparently the grass I noticed growing in my gutters is doing just fine. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 11 224

You deserved it 933

Today, I was running late for my morning gym class. I grabbed a near-empty drink bottle on my way out, intending to fill it up at the gym. Mid-workout, I reached for my bottle and took a big mouthful as I headed over to fill it up. To my great surprise, it was not water but straight vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 566

You deserved it 1 421

Today, I accidentally cooked my new Apple Pencil. Being magnetic, it stuck to a baking tray that was put down on the table I’d been drawing at, and went in the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 269

You deserved it 676

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments