Love and Health: It's not what you think

It's not what you think

By Anonymous - 12/07/2014 01:36 - United States - Coeur D Alene

Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 653

You deserved it 4 840

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Same thing different taste

Klutz

By Sara - 27/05/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 145

By Anonymous - 01/01/2016 11:37 - Australia

Today, I went on a date at the park. Have you ever felt dozens of ants swarming up your legs and back? I have now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 086

You deserved it 1 721

By spoony - 19/01/2009 05:32 - Australia

Today, while on a date with the guy of my dreams, I cut my tongue so bad it bled for an hour. I managed to cut it on the plastic spoon from my coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 428

You deserved it 3 056

No third base for you

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 267

By Anonymous - 06/06/2009 02:22 - United States

Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 245

You deserved it 45 084

By Mojo - 14/12/2009 17:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 564

You deserved it 5 188

House rules

By Anonymous - 08/10/2019 22:00

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for months. Not knowing where the date would take us, I shaved my pubic hair. Later, in the middle of making out with the guy, my dad storms into the room to tell me, "I had to get some Draino, your pubes clogged the shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 174

You deserved it 1 228

By maddie - 27/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 888

You deserved it 4 984

I'm on fire

By Jyocka - 26/04/2011 22:25 - Canada

Today, on a first date, I finished eating my sushi, feeling proud to have managed chopsticks so elegantly and then rubbed my eye, oblivious to the fact I had just touched some wasabi. What followed was a classy exhibition on how to jump around screeching in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 290

You deserved it 27 123

Cool moves

By Juanna - 13/01/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in a park when I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I'd stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 685

You deserved it 4 526

FrancesShiver 20

Saturday 12 July 2014 11:53

Well at least he wants to protect you...?

iLike2Teabag 27

Saturday 12 July 2014 12:40

To be fair, if I were the dad, I wood want to make sure the guy isn't a prick.

Comments

captainsmegma 12

Saturday 12 July 2014 16:49

Just having dessert, Daddy.

Bugger_off 8

Saturday 12 July 2014 17:09

Seems to me to be none of dad's business...

ahippienamedrae 10

Saturday 12 July 2014 17:25

Tell him you were showing off your super strength, and broke a board with your knees.

wildsweetchild 19

Saturday 12 July 2014 17:34

seriously! ...in life it's always like that...got one thing, here's another to keep you (or us) entertained.

HotShot313 15

Saturday 12 July 2014 17:46

Did you give him a *******?

patrick227 1

Saturday 12 July 2014 18:25

one prick or another, it never ends.

Axel5238 29

Saturday 12 July 2014 19:07

He's your dad, of course he's gonna be worried. Plus, in this day in age with lot of younger crowd having friends with benefits and the like std's are more common than it used to be. Why wouldn't he be worried?