Intimacy: It's not what you think!

It's not what you think!

By Anonymous - 11/12/2012 07:20 - United States - Valencia

Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 612

You deserved it 4 210

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Pull up

By ohdeargodthatswrong - 09/01/2010 13:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 478

You deserved it 6 198

Get on with it

By deflated - 09/08/2009 16:54 - Ireland

Today, as my girlfriend was dropping me home, our goodbye kiss got kind of heavy. Still parked in my drive, we had fast, frenzied sex. After, we realised that she had never put the hand brake on and that we had rolled down my drive, blocking my dad who was patiently waiting to pull in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 822

You deserved it 59 758

By WellOops - 18/07/2018 05:00

Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 669

You deserved it 9 669

Never trust the messenger

By Teamarie - 11/08/2009 15:21 - United States

Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn't want me texting while I'm driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 144

You deserved it 20 998

Didn't see you there

By eatmyshipoopie - 18/12/2009 15:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 665

You deserved it 10 159

By mothtal - 03/06/2012 16:13 - Bulgaria

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 563

You deserved it 2 266

In the heat of the moment

By B - 31/01/2012 20:36 - Netherlands

Today, I had a quicky with my boyfriend, because his dad was about to pick him up. Afterwards, I texted, "Nice to meet your dad, I hope we didn't look too horny." A few minutes later, he replied, "Great timing, he was holding my phone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 348

You deserved it 9 951

Scolded

By oopsies - 08/01/2010 01:07 - United States

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 052

You deserved it 5 469

By Loho - 25/03/2009 02:46 - Canada

Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 894

You deserved it 105 003

By Anonymous - 25/09/2014 15:52 - United States - Red Oak

Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 393

You deserved it 10 919

ICastillo 24

Tuesday 11 December 2012 16:07

Well dang how long did you stay down there "picking up your phone"? Your dad was young once, he is one step a head of you.

datgamerchick 14

Tuesday 11 December 2012 16:08

"But dad! I dropped my phone in his pants, I swear!"

Comments

mercsl65 7

Tuesday 11 December 2012 16:21

Just agree and get it behind you. The more you deny the more he's going to think he raised a little ****-puppy. And next time it's better to have just waxed the cue ball and get accused of it than not waxing it and get accused. Just sayin to go for gold next time. Your man will appreciate and you dad will be right when he thinks of you as a Hoover.

UtterCatastrophe 4

Tuesday 11 December 2012 16:42

It's her boyfriend, where did you pull ****-puppy from? Correct me in I'm mistaken, but you are allowed to do whatever sexual fantasies you like with your partner. Including giving head in the car, if that is ones thing.

MrWhites 3

Tuesday 11 December 2012 16:28

Let me see your phone Oh sorry i dropped your phone again. Oh sorry i dropped your phone again. Oh sorry i dropped your phone again. Oh sorry i dropped your phone again. Ahhh NOW GET OUT no one rides for free.

PinkieKeen 20

Saturday 15 December 2012 4:26

Stop trying.

Cbizzlez 10

Tuesday 11 December 2012 16:30

Well your BF shouldn't have had a raging boner if you didn't want your dad to suspect something.

zandalee 19

Tuesday 11 December 2012 20:40

It could has given OP a black eye!

Enslaved 36

Tuesday 11 December 2012 16:33

"I swear, it's not what it looks like!" It's almost like a skit right out of a Pink Panther movie. (:

LiterOfCola 16

Tuesday 11 December 2012 16:34

That's a likely story OP. I guess you picked it up and then dropped it again and then picked it up and then dropped it again... And then you just had to spit really bad when you got out? Wait..