Embarrassing, Dogs, Awkward and Animals: It's not what you think… - FML

It's not what you think…

By sucks - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserts dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said, "How do you like that?" Then my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 932

You deserved it 158 996

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Top comments

MURPHYCHACHO 5

Monday 18 May 2009 9:49

What. The. Hell. Are. You. Smoking?

fueledbyamy 0

Monday 18 May 2009 9:51

thats so wrong, but so ******* hilarious at the same time!

Comments

ssassin511 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 1:27

what the **** were you thinking humping a ******* dog

bentheklutz 5

Wednesday 31 August 2011 6:27

****** dingus.

Whitewall_fml 2

Monday 3 October 2011 4:55

...

talki 0

Monday 17 October 2011 3:59

That's more of a fml for her: Today, I walked into a room where my brother in law was humping a dog and yelling "how do you like that!" FML

swearv 0

Monday 24 October 2011 12:55

Lol that's super jokes

carboncopy1987 6

Thursday 3 November 2011 8:21

YDI!!! WTF were u thinking!?! your not supposed to hump it back to show ur dominant. just wrestle it and hold it down in an uncomfortable (but NOT painful) position for a couple mins till it stops squirming and realizes YOU are in control.

janicus 9

Friday 18 November 2011 7:42

it says his sister in law walked in...just for like ever second person who said it was his mum...

jayyw5 3

Tuesday 22 November 2011 20:32

Mom? Why is everyone saying mom... Isn't it his sister in law???

SlaughterSprite 3

Monday 28 November 2011 14:25

I would lmao if I walked in on someone doing that. XD

nabila21 0

Monday 2 January 2012 11:02

I laughed while feeling bad 4 u but almost cried when I saw how many people said u deserved it.

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Keywords

Relatable Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Teenagers Animals Dogs Video games

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I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 537

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FMLMeghan's website : http://www.kawaiinot.com/ & http://www.murphypop.com/ If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. Bu...

I agree, your life sucks 11

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The Top

Today, I got back a paper after a peer review. I had worked really hard on it over the last week and was proud of the end result. When I got the paper back, the only positive comment on the paper was, "Well, I really like the blue staple you used to hold it together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 887

You deserved it 5 255

Today, I have my very first gynecologist appointment. I'm 15. My mom wants to "be on the safe side" and make sure I'm not sexually active. This is my punishment for being a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 573

You deserved it 3 549

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 876

You deserved it 4 938

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 890

You deserved it 8 333

Today, while leaving late for work, I walked out to my car only to find the back window broken. Worst part was, I still had to go to work because no one who could cover me showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 82

Today, being incredibly ill after my second COVID shot, I called in sick for maybe the third time in 10 years (I teach). That didn’t stop parents from calling and messaging to scream at me because they weren’t happy. I had to drag myself out of bed and do work in between throwing up. I feel even worse now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 153

You deserved it 209