Embarrassing, Dogs, Awkward and Animals: It's not what you think… - FML

It's not what you think…

By sucks - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserts dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said, "How do you like that?" Then my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 932

You deserved it 158 996

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

MURPHYCHACHO 5

Monday 18 May 2009 9:49

What. The. Hell. Are. You. Smoking?

fueledbyamy 0

Monday 18 May 2009 9:51

thats so wrong, but so ******* hilarious at the same time!

Comments

Joey_N 2

Friday 16 November 2012 2:37

LMFAAAOOOO!! Im done! This made me laugh for a good 10 minutes. My family thought I was crazy for a second. The mental image of you violating your dog is what makes me laugh lol. Best FML i've read in a while.

laurenlovesjb 20

Wednesday 28 November 2012 14:30

I love Justin Bieber.

ShananaginsLOL 13

Wednesday 2 January 2013 8:23

Hahahaha hah lol best fml ever!!!!!dude ya totally made my day!!!!! Ur poor mom though

forevergreen13 9

Tuesday 19 February 2013 13:59

that's fantastic!!! hahahaha

cb1002630 11

Monday 11 March 2013 19:26

Hahahaha

SunshineNancy 8

Monday 29 April 2013 2:09

Omg lmaoo.

dumbblonde1432 5

Wednesday 24 July 2013 4:18

HAHAHAHAHA. OMG. Can't stop laughing

Funnyguyproblems 1

Wednesday 31 July 2013 7:10

Ever thought about getting him neutered?

itsnikibish 4

Wednesday 7 August 2013 1:49

I did that before too! And my mom walked in and my dog wasnt allowed to sleep in my room anymore

secretlady99 6

Wednesday 2 October 2013 21:32

lmfao, beautiful

38
39
40
41
42
43

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Health Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, I got into an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling me enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 669

You deserved it 4 364

Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 389

The Top

Today, I went on a date for the first time since my divorce was finalized a year ago. The first question the guy asked me was what my favorite sex position is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 670

You deserved it 6 499

Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 496

You deserved it 6 409

Today, the office coffee machine was relocated next to my desk. My co-worker insists on making several cups of the stuff per day, but instead of drinking it, he stands next to me, audibly swishes it through his teeth, gargles, and drools it back into the cup. I retch every single time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 883

You deserved it 2 336

Today, my future mother-in-law sent a nasty email to my mother, an angry phone call to my fiancé, and threatened to boycott his graduation and the wedding. Why? I didn't respond immediately to her emails about card boxes for the wedding. Card boxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 709

You deserved it 240

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on Facebook. She's in the forces, and it was her birthday. I asked her if she liked the flowers I sent her. She thanked me, then asked if she could remove our relationship status. When I asked why, she said, "It's not like we're really going out anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 473

You deserved it 2 731

Today, I was teasing my son about all the newlywed sex he must be having. He turned bright red and ended up admitting that because they stayed virgins until marriage they were too nervous to try on the wedding night, or on the honeymoon, or anytime since then. The wedding was 4 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 447