Drunk, Awkward and Love: It wasn't me

It wasn't me

By curiousorange - 05/07/2009 15:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I met a great girl at a party. We talked alone, and she made me promise I'd dance with her later. When I saw her later, she was unconscious, and in an ambulance. She'd collapsed, and the entire party assumed I'd spiked her drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 567

You deserved it 3 046

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Same thing different taste

Party hard

By vcarder - 04/10/2013 20:25 - United States - Newton

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 978

You deserved it 43 183

By allennn - 14/03/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 928

You deserved it 38 550

By Bliss - 09/02/2009 18:24 - United States

Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 014

You deserved it 5 916

The Lady in Red

By Anonymous - 08/06/2009 01:36 - United States

Today, I was at a party. The music changed to a slow dance. Everybody grabbed a partner and I was left on the dancefloor alone. Suddenly, this guy walked up to me. I swore that he was going to ask me to dance. He then said, "Could you hold me my drink?" and went to dance with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 205

You deserved it 3 918

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 254

You deserved it 382

Do I know you?

By goblue - 21/12/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment, followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father, who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 471

You deserved it 3 174

Shut up

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 20:00

Today, a girl came up to me on a club dance floor and said, “Shut up and dance with me,” like the song lyrics, only I fell over on her while dancing, and she dislocated her ankle. I don’t think this woman is gonna be my destiny after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 344

The ex from hell

By welpwelpwelp - 08/07/2015 17:45 - Australia - Canberra

Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 990

You deserved it 1 958

By 0ptimu5 - 11/09/2009 04:39 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 695

You deserved it 43 472

Better safe than sorry, but…

By Anonymous - 25/10/2023 00:00

Today, I got tackled by a bouncer in a club and handed to police for spiking my date's drink. It was an ice cube. I'd asked the barman for some ice cubes, which I put in both my drink and hers, and someone assumed I was slipping her a roofie and reported me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 120

your_lifesucks_ 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 20:06

well... did you??

hk_fml 9

Sunday 5 July 2009 20:06

oh shit. O_O that is so unfortunate

Comments

kc2_fml 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 20:46

maybe you shouldn't have spiked her drink..

_FACKMYLIFE_ 0

Monday 6 July 2009 3:15

never said he did...stop assuming things

Blacksabbath211 9

Thursday 5 August 2010 18:36

I think he was joking...

doctorbob 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 20:47

that really sux but dont listen to them

rafaelaugusto94 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 20:59

damn thats bad!

albinoninja 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 21:19

Haha man... That sucks, but you can always talk to her, and possibly get her to tell everyone that u didn't do anything...

foshizzle7 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 21:24

well, did you?

Ub3r_Crippl3 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 21:29

FYL, especially if she thinks u did too.

UFCFIGHTER 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 21:48



Andreas2402 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 21:49

So.. did you do put something into it?

fxdxhk90 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 21:55

Dude that really sucks. Unfortunately, people have a tendency to assume guilt before any of the facts are in.

Destinyx 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 21:56

Unless she had woken up thinking that he had, and then attacked him out of anger. It could happen, Unlucky, FYL

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The Top

Today, my company told me that they refuse to buy me new safety footwear without a doctor's note, because my shoe size is three sizes smaller than the minimum size my company provides. I actually have to get my doctor to prove my shoe size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 527

You deserved it 1 300

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 331

You deserved it 41 023

The Top

Today, I told my crush of two years that I love him. He responded with an, "Aww, I'm sorry." and a pity hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 658

You deserved it 9 913

Today, the father of my unborn child got laid off. Without a work visa, he may have to leave the country before this baby even arrives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 220

You deserved it 6 265

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around when he accidentally elbowed me in the eye and I couldn't see. He rolled over, turned on the football game, and told me to just walk upstairs and get ice. He also added that he would like a coke while I am up there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 957

You deserved it 5 305

Today, I was at a party at the house of the guy I really like. We were talking when he pulled me into his room. I was excited he was finally taking our friendship to the next level, until he handed me a stick of deodorant, saying "I didn't wanna tell you in the hallway, but you really need this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 062

You deserved it 22 008

Today, I found out the hard way that you shouldn't try to open a can of paint with a screwdriver. The lid flew off, and my kitchen floor now looks like an abstract art painting, which I could probably call, "Various blue splodges on wood canvas." FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 585

Today, my extremely inebriated boyfriend casually mentioned that he wished I had a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 717

You deserved it 853