Drunk, Awkward and Love: It wasn't me

It wasn't me

By curiousorange - 05/07/2009 15:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I met a great girl at a party. We talked alone, and she made me promise I'd dance with her later. When I saw her later, she was unconscious, and in an ambulance. She'd collapsed, and the entire party assumed I'd spiked her drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 567

You deserved it 3 046

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Same thing different taste

Party hard

By vcarder - 04/10/2013 20:25 - United States - Newton

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 978

You deserved it 43 183

By allennn - 14/03/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 928

You deserved it 38 550

By Bliss - 09/02/2009 18:24 - United States

Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 014

You deserved it 5 916

The Lady in Red

By Anonymous - 08/06/2009 01:36 - United States

Today, I was at a party. The music changed to a slow dance. Everybody grabbed a partner and I was left on the dancefloor alone. Suddenly, this guy walked up to me. I swore that he was going to ask me to dance. He then said, "Could you hold me my drink?" and went to dance with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 205

You deserved it 3 918

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 254

You deserved it 382

Do I know you?

By goblue - 21/12/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment, followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father, who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 471

You deserved it 3 174

Shut up

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 20:00

Today, a girl came up to me on a club dance floor and said, “Shut up and dance with me,” like the song lyrics, only I fell over on her while dancing, and she dislocated her ankle. I don’t think this woman is gonna be my destiny after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 344

The ex from hell

By welpwelpwelp - 08/07/2015 17:45 - Australia - Canberra

Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 990

You deserved it 1 958

By 0ptimu5 - 11/09/2009 04:39 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 695

You deserved it 43 472

Better safe than sorry, but…

By Anonymous - 25/10/2023 00:00

Today, I got tackled by a bouncer in a club and handed to police for spiking my date's drink. It was an ice cube. I'd asked the barman for some ice cubes, which I put in both my drink and hers, and someone assumed I was slipping her a roofie and reported me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 120

your_lifesucks_ 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 20:06

well... did you??

hk_fml 9

Sunday 5 July 2009 20:06

oh shit. O_O that is so unfortunate

Comments

andrewms 0

Monday 6 July 2009 10:27

You probably did, you ******* douchebag...

dalzuga 3

Tuesday 7 July 2009 0:57

was it spiked? or did she just pass out?

Roberto22 0

Friday 10 July 2009 23:06

did u spike it? because it seems like u did...

popoman 0

Monday 20 July 2009 15:50

Don't use FML as your defense in court.

rakhil11 7

Tuesday 4 August 2009 4:23

backformorebitch/the troll in this fml: nice.... OP: it sounds like you didn't spike her drink, so i'm sorry

hornetchik 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 8:46

The people who are saying he DID spike her drink are fucken MORONS.

howareyoulard 0

Saturday 3 July 2010 12:14

good luck getting yourself out of that one!!!

ncvolley123 8

Wednesday 21 July 2010 0:29

don't u mean date rape drugged? what would spike mean?

messybedroom 0

Tuesday 14 December 2010 0:23

Dumbasses. Everybody keeps repeating "Did you?" What do you guys think?

lilduke22 0

Monday 21 March 2011 5:28

just sound like a badass and say no I already got a piece of that ass

Keywords

Health Money Kids You're fired Christmas Work Bodyshaming Fat Customers Love Facebook Am I overreacting? Social Media AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Technology Education Relatable Students Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Friends Awkward

The Top

Today, I took a very expensive flight to New York City for a job interview. I waited in my hotel room all day for the phone call to go to my once in a lifetime interview. By noon, I was nervous; eight, I was pissed. Around ten, I realized my phone was still in airplane mode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 555

You deserved it 23 503

Today, my best friend called me to cancel our mall plans. I could hear that she was watching a movie in the background. I then called my boyfriend to see if he was busy, and I could hear the same movie in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 313

You deserved it 157

The Top

Today, my boyfriend of a year went to a wedding. He didn't invite me, he took his ex instead. I saw it all on Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 606

You deserved it 392

Today, I came home after a long day at work, and decided to tidy up a bit before finally settling down to relax. I went to take the garbage out, when the bag split and out fell the trash along with hundreds of tiny red ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 148

You deserved it 3 291

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 492

You deserved it 12 939

Today, after my first flight landed late, I burned out my lungs sprinting full speed for 10 minutes to catch my next flight. The gate number on my ticket was wrong. It had been changed to one right next to where I had originally pulled up to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 611

You deserved it 3 799

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend, when she walked ahead of me cat-walk style, turned around and said, "Do you think I could model?" I blurted out, "Yes... for a plus-size clothing line." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 058

You deserved it 55 733

Today, I had to explain to a customer that she couldn't use the bathroom while going through the drive-thru. I still don't understand what exactly she had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 810

You deserved it 433