Itchy and Scratchy

By Anonymous - 06/04/2020 20:00 - Australia

Today, I put a collar on my dog to get rid of his fleas. Good news? He doesn't have fleas anymore. Bad news? They've moved onto the rest of my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 576

You deserved it 369

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/05/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, I learned how my cat's flea medicine works. Instead of killing the fleas, it just makes the fleas move off of the animal. The good news is my cat no longer has fleas. The bad news is, the fleas moved into my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 346

You deserved it 4 512

By jesspie - 11/01/2013 02:41 - United Kingdom

Today, the abandoned cat that I took in for the night and during bad weather seems to have spread fleas around my house. They're everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 277

You deserved it 38 266

By Anonymous - 01/09/2018 18:30

Today, I spent $50 buying flea bombs so not only my dogs, but my son could relax a little in my home instead of fighting off those tiny little circus bastards. Today, I got in my car and the fleas attacked me mercilessly until I got to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 656

You deserved it 434

Love is love

By Taylor505 - 07/10/2024 08:00 - United States - Ocala

Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 96

Home sweet home

By Anon - 30/04/2014 02:07 - United States - Maidens

Today, after getting home from finals and finishing the semester, I had a very heartfelt reunion with my dog during which he licked me all over the face. About an hour later, my dad told me, "By the way, don't let him lick you, he has hookworms." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 897

You deserved it 5 040

Box of magic

By itchy itches - 23/08/2020 05:05 - United States

Today, my neighbor brought home a box of kittens he found in the park. Instead of calling animal control, he decided to keep them. Besides the incessant meowing throughout the day and night, a massive horde of fleas decided to migrate through his light sockets and into my nice clean apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 456

You deserved it 277

By Anonymous - 02/10/2014 04:47 - United States - Olive Branch

Today, I was talking to my brother about how careless people are. Minutes later, I shocked myself with my dog's shock-collar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 915

You deserved it 35 677

By Wow - 01/08/2015 19:06 - United States - Sanford

Today, I walked outside to see my dog killing my cat. My spouse tried to cheer me up - "Hey, at least we don't have to buy cat food anymore!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 920

You deserved it 3 329

By jessica071509 - 24/04/2012 05:42 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 345

You deserved it 3 699

By Anonymous - 09/11/2015 14:58 - United States - Redlands

Today, my mother informed me that she sold my dog to pay off some bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 788

You deserved it 1 838

RichardPencil 30

Monday 6 April 2020 20:40

Put flea collars on your family. Problem solved...what's for lunch?

randybryant799 20

Tuesday 25 January 2022 23:17

You have to treat everything. Have you never had a dog?

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 6 April 2020 20:40

Put flea collars on your family. Problem solved...what's for lunch?

randybryant799 20

Tuesday 25 January 2022 23:17

You have to treat everything. Have you never had a dog?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Neighbours Awkward Halloween Wanker Lonely Jealousy Love Party Family Argument Fight Animals Cats Parents Embarrassing Health Sports Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings YouTube TikTok Pranks Dogs Cute AITA Work

The Top

Today, I found all of my underwear frozen in my freezer. I put my underwear in the washer before I left for work. I then put them in the dryer. I woke up and tried to put them on several times thinking I was missing the pant holes. I finally turned on the lights to see that each leg hole was sewn shut, all of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 96

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 289

You deserved it 3 800

The Top

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 931

You deserved it 3 890

Today, I took a polygraph. The interviewer was mad at the way I was breathing and looking down once instead of straight ahead. The third test I started crying because he raised his voice, saying I was disrespecting his time. I was trying so hard but couldn't breathe with the equipment on, leaving my mind blank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 979

You deserved it 140

Today, I found out one of my exes is trans. I’m very happy for her, but I’m starting to think I have the wrong type, as I have had 3 ex-boyfriends come out as gay and 3 come out at trans right after breaking up. I really hope my current boyfriend doesn’t have a secret. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 184

Today, my family and I went to Olive Garden. Due to my autism, I sometimes have a nervous tic, which presented itself while I was looking at the menu. I would have appreciated it if my mom hadn't then screamed at me to stop in front of the entire restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 612

You deserved it 642

Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 518

You deserved it 3 608

Today, I got pulled over and ticketed while taking cookies to the local police station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 877

You deserved it 795