Money, Kids, Parenting, Poopoo peepee and Gross: Ivy league

Ivy league

By WasteOMoney - 04/07/2011 01:50 - United States

Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to take a video of his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 816

You deserved it 6 273

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Same thing different taste

Kinda bizarre

By @SamAnderson - 16/08/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my 17 year-old son has been using his phone on the toilet. Every time he poops, he takes his phone to the bathroom. Why does he need his phone to use the bathroom? He uses the toilet with his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 563

So cute

By "lildale92" - 05/11/2019 02:00

Today, my youngest decided my phone needed a bath in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 757

You deserved it 301

Ironic

By Anonymous - 05/02/2023 10:00

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet. Now I know why they call it 'smart' phone; it's smarter than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 595

By Anonymous - 08/09/2018 09:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, while pooping at work, I was scrolling through social media. I dropped my phone in the toilet and the automatic flusher engaged, flushing my phone halfway into the pipes, which then flooded the toilet. I had to call maintenance and explain what happened to retrieve phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 2 198

By wtfuraretard - 19/02/2010 20:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 020

You deserved it 5 209

By Anonymous - 20/10/2010 22:22 - United States

Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 351

You deserved it 3 324

By AK-47 - 17/07/2015 23:04 - United States - Farmington

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 843

You deserved it 3 493

By Anonymous - 29/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 625

You deserved it 3 725

By Katherine - 13/02/2012 21:23 - United States

Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on the average cell phone. My five year old son apparently overheard me talking, and decided to give my cell phone a bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 618

You deserved it 6 508

By Pottymouth - 25/07/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, I was having really bad diarrhea. I sat down on the toilet and heard a plop, thinking it was just me going to the bathroom. After I was finished, I look in the toilet to see my iPhone sitting in a pool of diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 034

You deserved it 24 547

Tessa39 0

Monday 4 July 2011 8:34

sounds like he is a genius

EvilDoll 7

Monday 4 July 2011 8:35

Well, his education and your money are both going down the drain. Among other things...

Comments

khloe57 0

Monday 11 July 2011 6:16

that's utterly disgusting haha xD

luisAngelMarrero 0

Monday 11 July 2011 12:05

my advice... dont let him use ur phone if he ever asks

Mr_Original_ 11

Saturday 16 July 2011 17:54

At least he uses a toilet

surrealJC 4

Monday 18 July 2011 12:43

at least he is curious about biology.... could be chemistry, and you know they're all drug dealers.

birdie013 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 12:50

medical school de de de

blevins5492 0

Friday 5 August 2011 10:11

I can see a noble peace prize coming along for your son

FailureFYL 0

Saturday 6 August 2011 18:47

H.O.T. Hot!!!!!!!

RainbowLuna 0

Sunday 7 August 2011 7:11

I can't stop laughing

chicajojobe 1

Thursday 18 August 2011 5:39

Well I look forward to possibly having him as my doctor!

BloodyMary666 24

Saturday 20 August 2011 15:56

Why would somebody want to film this?

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

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I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 16

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 201

You deserved it 17 042

The Top

Today, my boyfriend of 10 years has a beloved wife and a gun. I never even knew he was married or that he packed heat; others outed him. His response is not one of remorse but of self-righteousness and being outright mean to me, especially fun given my dad just died, and my uncaring mom attacks me for not supporting genocide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 287

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 264

You deserved it 54 094

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 503

You deserved it 4 506

Today, I went back to work after a horrible bout of respiratory illness. After a few hours of using hot tea, cough drops, and tissues to deal with my lingering cough, I found out that my asshole coworker has filed a formal complaint about me disrupting her concentration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 096

You deserved it 4 285

Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 208

You deserved it 4 344

Today, I found out my boss hired literally the only person in this town who is an ex-boyfriend. I also work with my current boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 626

You deserved it 220