Intimacy: Jammed

Jammed

By me - 05/01/2010 16:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 455

You deserved it 3 761

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 092

You deserved it 40 037

Seduction technique

By BlueBirdWings - 06/03/2012 07:20 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 788

You deserved it 6 804

My love language is…

By BlueBirdWings - 31/05/2019 02:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 320

By Anonymous - 26/10/2012 21:59 - Switzerland - Zurich

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 998

You deserved it 3 819

By SMS123 - 25/06/2010 19:42 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 482

You deserved it 4 789

By fmlpanda - 29/05/2010 04:14 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 858

You deserved it 8 371

Language of love

By TheGirl - 23/11/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 385

You deserved it 3 951

The Taste of Love

By Anonymous - 05/04/2020 14:00

Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 493

You deserved it 318

By Anonymous - 10/02/2011 20:06 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 364

You deserved it 12 713

By Sybille - 06/12/2008 12:14 - France

Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 517

You deserved it 4 064

g3rusz 6

Tuesday 5 January 2010 20:42

The moment was already ruined in the instant when he decided not to spit out the gum before getting intimate with you. Sorry, your BF is stupid.

perdix 29

Tuesday 5 January 2010 20:55

He thinks that breast milk has a consistency and texture similar to chewing gum? Your boyfriend is an idiot, and I suspect you are not very far up the food chain from him.

Comments

Veronica7852 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 6:35

Y was he cheering gum weren't u 2 kissing ?!

ShyAnn29 14

Saturday 2 April 2011 1:51

he was sucking her boob

muppetpoo 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 6:47

um.......what the he'll was he chewin gum for? what a dumbass.

nessalujin 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 7:34

Lmfao!!! well I've heard milk can come from boobs

Lotty1112 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 20:31

No ******* duh dumb nuts! What kind of moron ARE you?!

Roseicat 16

Wednesday 6 January 2010 16:47

Chewing gum? WHAT A FAIL!!

jelly_bean_123 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 20:29

haahahaha gutted! dump him for being so dumb! and chewing gum while getting it on!?! thats gross!!

bostonfan 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 23:06

well thats pretty dumb of him, but just continue. i wouldn't think something like that could be ruined to easily. and @50- you're just obnoxious

Isa_fml 20

Thursday 7 January 2010 3:14

the fact that he thought you (a girl who presumably shouldn't be lactating, given the fact that it was your first time getting intimate) could possibly be producing milk is sort of disturbing. what are they teaching kids these days? O_O

sillyteengirl 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 12:48

Um ok i know its ur guys first time but come on wasnt his mouth busy with ur boob instead of them gum? n wat if he accidently bit ur boob thinking it was his gum or something anything could of ruined the moment while chewing gum....

tre6785 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 15:12

The thought of sucking on a boob makes me sick! The fact he swallowed his gum, priceless!

shelbycole18 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 20:39

Don't feel bad. The first time my boyfriend did that to me, we were in the movie theater (yes, stupid i know) and apparently someone told one of the security guards. In mid-suck I felt a tap on my shoulder from said security guard.....embarrassing.