Intimacy: Jammed

Jammed

By me - 05/01/2010 16:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 455

You deserved it 3 761

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 092

You deserved it 40 037

Seduction technique

By BlueBirdWings - 06/03/2012 07:20 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 788

You deserved it 6 803

My love language is…

By BlueBirdWings - 31/05/2019 02:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 320

By Anonymous - 26/10/2012 21:59 - Switzerland - Zurich

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 998

You deserved it 3 819

By SMS123 - 25/06/2010 19:42 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 482

You deserved it 4 789

By fmlpanda - 29/05/2010 04:14 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 858

You deserved it 8 371

Language of love

By TheGirl - 23/11/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 385

You deserved it 3 951

The Taste of Love

By Anonymous - 05/04/2020 14:00

Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 493

You deserved it 318

By Anonymous - 10/02/2011 20:06 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 364

You deserved it 12 713

By Sybille - 06/12/2008 12:14 - France

Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 517

You deserved it 4 064

g3rusz 6

Tuesday 5 January 2010 20:42

The moment was already ruined in the instant when he decided not to spit out the gum before getting intimate with you. Sorry, your BF is stupid.

perdix 29

Tuesday 5 January 2010 20:55

He thinks that breast milk has a consistency and texture similar to chewing gum? Your boyfriend is an idiot, and I suspect you are not very far up the food chain from him.

Comments

razorp 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 20:07

first , suck his dick

NamesIncognita 15

Wednesday 25 November 2015 22:45

not all women like that.

allen20 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 20:10

lol wow hes bad at sex

blakehilli8 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 20:11

HE WAS CHEWING GUM!!!!!!

GiddyXD 0

Monday 5 April 2010 14:36

i no i was like wtf it probably only lased like 10 seconds..

TrollTrollTroll 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 20:13

can i have some milk?

MakeupBurn 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 20:26

Wow, whatta noob. He confused his gum for milk? I'm so sorry and hopefully he redeems himself.

g3rusz 6

Tuesday 5 January 2010 20:42

The moment was already ruined in the instant when he decided not to spit out the gum before getting intimate with you. Sorry, your BF is stupid.

mikepzz 27

Tuesday 4 November 2014 5:14

Mmmhhh minty ****

perdix 29

Tuesday 5 January 2010 20:55

He thinks that breast milk has a consistency and texture similar to chewing gum? Your boyfriend is an idiot, and I suspect you are not very far up the food chain from him.

Zeek63 0

Monday 19 September 2011 14:27

Maybe the gum turned to liquid. If you chew for long periods of time it breaks down to a liquid and tastes really bad.

Dale_shackleford 13

Saturday 28 May 2016 20:13

I chewed a piece of gum once for 7 hours without changing it and it never turned to liquid. What brands do that?

ellawea 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 21:14

chewy milk? is he a retard? it's more fun when they are smart.

kirakira333 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 21:42

you did that the first time you got intimate with your boyfriend? how did you get him to agree to that? it sounds like it was his first time getting intimate with anyone. lmfao