Anxiety and Health: Jumpy

Jumpy

By tgstreaks - 23/04/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 905

You deserved it 91 027

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Same thing different taste

By tan disaster - 27/02/2009 23:09 - United States

Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 523

You deserved it 39 346

By Wannabees - 03/04/2012 05:13 - Canada

Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 437

You deserved it 37 776

By Ellowise - 24/12/2009 10:06 - Belgium

Today, I used the tanning booth for the first time. Not only was I so white that I received first-degree burns all over my body, but I also forgot to remove my knee-high socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 676

You deserved it 47 184

By lover21 - 08/05/2009 23:17 - United States

Today, while working at my tanning salon, a woman came in and I put her in a booth, which are all stand up. After she comes out, I go in to clean it and realize that floor is all wet. I questioned her about it and she replies, "Oh, I peed, that's not a drain?". FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 719

You deserved it 2 868

Tanned pits

By huulo - 16/11/2010 10:07

Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 486

You deserved it 28 089

By missko519 - 22/05/2015 07:36 - United States - Broken Arrow

Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 166

You deserved it 21 755

By blotchy-girl - 15/07/2009 04:00 - New Zealand

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to spray my face with my new tanning spray, which is only supposed to be used on arms and legs. I woke up and looked in the mirror to see an orange blotchy face staring back at me. My parents can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 065

You deserved it 6 738

By Crispy - 21/06/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed for the first time ever. I have never tanned before and didn't know you are supposed to ease into it. I tanned for 15 minutes in the "super bed" and have lobstered. My ass and nuts got the worst of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 232

You deserved it 46 129

By LXA429 - 12/03/2010 07:35 - United States

Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 881

You deserved it 32 422

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 586

You deserved it 39 980

peach_fml 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 12:10

No offense, but how much of a whimp can you be? You know it's the spray tan...yet you're still so scared you pee yourself. YDI

Audio828 2

Thursday 23 April 2009 12:23

Oh poor guys that had to clean up that mess.

Comments

youaresofucked 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 14:27

This is pissing me off. Why does nearly EVERY SINGLE FML have "proceeded" in it? You wouldn't use it in a normal conversation so why does every next fml have this word?

DankJemo 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 14:33

Ah, spray tan... When you absolutely need to look orange.

christtyyyxo 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 4:57

dude seriuosly? walking around looking like a carrott is no way at all better than bing perhaps a little pale. ladies please stop wanting to look fakeee

krpistocco 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 14:35

OMG thoose things are scary! I never peed myself because of it, but I myself will never do it again! haha.

camis 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 14:39

#32 I'm with you. It's ridiculous how "proceeded" seems to be the word of choice for all FMLs.

TigressUK 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 14:43

It's dumb how many people are saying "fake tanning sucks, go get a natural tan" because fake tanning is so much better for your skin - you're far less likely to get skin cancer, and when you're older your skin won't be so wrinkly. Excessive tanning gives you crocodile skin when you're older. Do some research people.

Besker 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 5:18

wow, you're post just screams "wannabe LA bimbo" kinda makes me want to barf, and how about all the people who are forced to be outside and have *gasp* natural tans that don't get skin cancer? and I think that natural sunlight would be far better for skin than some chemicals that "beauty companies" cook up in a darkened lair

lawlita 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 3:58

Don't you mean "your"?

mintypoison 22

Thursday 26 January 2012 6:58

Wow. Just...wow. Not EVERYONE gets skin cancer from tanning naturally. Some people are much more sensative to sunlight, and so shouldn't tan in the sun. Fake tans are actually even worse. Spray tans make you look like a vegitable(not to mention are a total waste of money...) and tanning beds are ******* CONSENTRADED UV. That means it's like staying outside for a whole day and thus rasies your chance for cancer. Please, YOU do research before saying things like that...

TheBigCasino 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 14:45

What are you 12?

nikki1001 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 14:48

#10: Spray tans don't involve beds, you stand in a booth.... That's ridiculous. You knew what was going to happen, it's not like you were somewhere in which a loud noise would make you think it was going to blow up or something.

ineedadrink 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 14:54

First of all, where do you people live? At the beach, where it is 80 and sunny all the time? One can not just "grab a towel" and find a sunny destination, unless they live somewhere warm or are on vacation. It isn't even summer yet. Tanning is all about aesthetics people. This person obviously has something wrong with them if a loud noise scared them. You should never go to that salon again, how unprofessional to not tell you what to expect.

babyginger 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 15:04

In reply to #13, natural tans don't have to look red and sunburnt because what most of you idiots fail to realise; is that you can tan through sunscreen. Hell, that way you can a) get a tan, b) not get burnt and c) escape skin cancer while you're at it. And to whatever number commented on natural tanning giving you skin cancer, sunbeds do that too. What the hell do they teach in schools these days???