Intimacy: Kinda cute

Kinda cute

By anon - 09/09/2013 15:15 - United States - Mantua

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. - Mom and Dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 410

You deserved it 26 009

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Same thing different taste

By Noname - 13/03/2009 23:04 - United States

Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 308

You deserved it 5 341

By Mygawdwhy - 21/01/2018 01:30

Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 187

You deserved it 2 062

By Ouch - 21/01/2012 00:29 - United States

Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 836

You deserved it 9 358

By Ab - 10/02/2009 01:50 - United States

Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 322

You deserved it 42 805

By Anonymous - 28/04/2015 16:58 - United Kingdom - Exminster

Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 809

You deserved it 4 442

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 05:13 - United States

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 275 516

You deserved it 88 424

It's the thought that counts, right?

By kdmoney - 23/09/2011 06:16 - United States

Today, my mother said I'm slipping too deep into depression since my boyfriend left for college in Fresno. Her solution? Buying me a vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 303

You deserved it 7 562

By crazygirl - 29/10/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 525

You deserved it 5 183

My package

By Nikki - 20/11/2019 05:00

Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 527

You deserved it 723

By Madeline Lee - 09/04/2012 21:34 - France - Pessac

Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on my bedside table, along with a note saying "I know it's tough being single." Apparently my mom has boundary issues, my dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 687

You deserved it 3 037

Grayness_ 26

Monday 9 September 2013 19:25

Or you could just use your hand which is free ! :D haha

grahmagog 14

Monday 9 September 2013 19:25

give it back and tell them to buy headphones

Comments

HeartOfLead 24

Monday 9 September 2013 22:01

If every time you **********, they give you $ 30... I think you found the best job in the world!

whatismissing 8

Monday 9 September 2013 22:10

Well said!

xMew 7

Monday 9 September 2013 22:14

That sucks

FizzyFun 8

Monday 9 September 2013 22:24

Hahaha. That's awesome of your parents.!

rakooligan 11

Monday 9 September 2013 23:12

Maybe play some music next time to drown out the noise...

hunter81_fml 15

Monday 9 September 2013 23:14

that made my day. thanks for sharing

basicperfection 16

Monday 9 September 2013 23:14

Your parents are great. At least they were discreet about it. My mom flat out asked if I wanted a ***** for my 16th birthday. I said yes.

letmehavemytea 21

Monday 9 September 2013 23:16

$30 isn't enough for a quality vibrator.

AnagenisisZagus 13

Monday 9 September 2013 23:17

**** your life no doubt. Only thirty dollars? Vibrators can be expensive... Or so I've heard.

perdix 29

Monday 9 September 2013 23:24

Take out the batteries as use it in ***** mode. You'll pocket thirty bucks and develop great grip strength.

martin8337 35

Monday 9 September 2013 23:30

Giggity;-).

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Frustration Capitalism Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Mental health Health

The Top

Today, I went to the airport to pick up my long-distance boyfriend. Having waited six months for this, I was stoked. After waiting for three hours and sending numerous messages, I was eventually informed I was a week early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 823

You deserved it 14 281

Today, I ran into my ex at the mall. He’s married, with a 2 year-old. Three years ago he ended our 6-year relationship because he said he didn’t believe in marriage and kids. Sorry for not being good enough to achieve those things with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 224

The Top

Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 224

You deserved it 5 695

Today, I got rejected by a girl I wasn't even trying to ask out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 441

You deserved it 4 162

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses a period tracker app to find out when we can fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 700

You deserved it 8 194

Today, I realized that a classmate and I have the same glasses. To prove it, I tried bending his glasses, since mine are flexible and can bend. I snapped his glasses in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 711

You deserved it 39 463

Today, I was telling my friend about how my boyfriend never does anything nice for me. Confused, she replied, "That's odd, he's always doing nice things for me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 214

You deserved it 4 385

Today, I was at Disneyland with some of my friends. While eating lunch, we watched a small child get frightened by the person dressed as Mickey Mouse. We all burst out laughing only to be jumped by Chip and Dale. Apparently I scream louder than the little kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 145

You deserved it 52 267

Kinda cute

Same thing different taste

It's the thought that counts, right?

My package

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