Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Kiss from a rose

Kiss from a rose

By sealy - 28/12/2010 07:44 - United States

Today, I was told I sound like a seal barking when I orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 077

You deserved it 7 872

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Same thing different taste

By crier - 27/08/2013 18:34 - United States - Norfolk

Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 612

You deserved it 12 461

By shopper242 - 22/11/2010 12:29 - France

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 921

You deserved it 4 098

Honky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 376

You deserved it 5 188

By Ugh - 13/09/2015 06:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that I moan too much when we have sex. I actually just fake my moans in an effort to cover the sound of my cracking hips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 387

You deserved it 5 899

By Anonymous - 27/12/2013 20:18 - Jamaica - Kingston

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 195

You deserved it 5 870

It's all too much

By toomuchlove - 02/08/2010 23:32 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I like it when he moans while we're having sex. Unfortunately, he interpreted that as "milk it". The sound is so obnoxious, it's starting to ruin the sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 715

You deserved it 27 261

By laury - 09/05/2012 02:05 - Canada - Port Elgin

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 567

You deserved it 3 646

I'm coming!

By anonymous - 24/02/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 876

You deserved it 4 483

Breaking

By Kev - 23/08/2023 06:00 - Ireland

Today, I was giving a presentation when my voice cracked like a teenage boy going through puberty. The audience giggled every time it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 617

You deserved it 74

By screamer - 02/09/2012 06:41 - United States - Paso Robles

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 957

You deserved it 38 512

xFalzz 0

Tuesday 28 December 2010 12:12

Oh yeah, yeah, yeaaaa- ARF ARF ARF ARF *begins to clap hands violently*

BelleElle_fml 5

Tuesday 28 December 2010 13:51

Did anyone else reinact this in their heads?

Comments

roboter 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 6:42

poor thong

sweetheartslim 0

Wednesday 4 May 2011 6:11

I just sound like a walrus.as in cu-cu-ca-choo

SleepOnStones 5

Monday 11 July 2011 5:05

Maybe you should stop sounding so retarded, then.

me215555 0

Thursday 28 July 2011 18:02

nice!

twinkle_nipso_O 0

Thursday 22 September 2011 20:19

At least he makes you come, quit yo' bitchin'!

Risenfromash 0

Sunday 11 December 2011 15:22

LOL that's pretty damn awkward. Bite your tongue next time?

Opalsky 4

Friday 30 March 2012 7:11

And he knows how a seal barking sounds???

PurpleKicks 22

Thursday 2 August 2012 9:30

hahahaha my old house mate used to bang a woman who made the same sounds, I called her seal girl!

deltoramastr 12

Saturday 10 November 2012 14:17

You must be related to my ex she sounded the same

poopernoodle 5

Tuesday 1 October 2013 5:04

The seal goes ow ow ow

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Haircut Miscellaneous Cute Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Frustration Capitalism Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Technology Mental health

The Top

Today, I pulled my Christmas tree out of my mother-in-law's garage, only to find out rats had ruined all the lights. The tree cost $2600. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 492

Today, I had to pick up my brother and his girlfriend from the bar at 2:00am because they were too drunk to drive themselves and had no money for an Uber. Five minutes into the ride, they started going at it in the back of my car. I don't think I'll be doing favors again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 655

You deserved it 532

The Top

Today, my dog was diagnosed with depression. I got him to help with my depression. I guess we can just be miserable together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 322

You deserved it 3 108

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 562

You deserved it 10 734

Today, I surprised my boyfriend at work, only to notice that his neck was covered in hickies. The night before, he texted me saying he needed alone time to get his mind together. Looks like he got together with another mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 717

You deserved it 3 340

Today, my cat woke me up at 3 a.m. by jumping from the shelf and landing on my nutsack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 549

You deserved it 282

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 979

You deserved it 5 357

Today, I received my year 12 yearbook. After such a bad year of let downs, it wasn’t surprising that the school fucked it up and put the previous year's group photo in it instead of ours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 96