Illness and Work: Lava - FML

Lava

By not_fakingit - 22/09/2013 04:26 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 564

You deserved it 11 247

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/06/2015 04:20 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 933

You deserved it 2 190

Not a morning person

By Anonymous - 30/01/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I was forced to come in to work early in the morning. For me, that means I will have a pounding migraine, vomiting, and diarrhea for at least the next two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 281

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 021

You deserved it 5 403

By Anonymous - 05/01/2011 20:22 - United States

Today, I returned to work after celebrating the New Year in Mexico. I wasn't feeling well, but didn't want to call in sick after already taking a vacation. Now I'm at work with diarrhea, and trotting to the bathroom every 30 minutes. My commute home usually takes around an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 479

You deserved it 5 807

Buckethead

By hi! - 17/09/2021 14:00

Today, I called in sick for the first time. My boss said that if I didn’t show up, not only would he fire me, but he’d make sure I never find another job for the rest of my life. So I showed up to work with a bucket, puking every five minutes. My boss still made me stay the full nine hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 808

You deserved it 142

Walk, don't run

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 03:00 - Finland

Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 113

By Anonymous - 21/04/2015 15:40 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 379

You deserved it 2 933

By anon - 26/07/2010 04:22 - United States

Today, I was fired from the restaurant I work at because I missed my shift. I missed it because I was in the hospital for food poisoning from the meal I ate at work last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 110

You deserved it 3 235

By Wow - 23/12/2018 16:00

Today, I have a job interview after months of struggling to find work. I also woke up with explosive diarrhea and can’t be away from the toilet for more than 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 634

You deserved it 148

By Mark - 27/02/2015 18:24 - Malta - Naxxar

Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 869

You deserved it 2 721

Next

Top comments

EpicSquishii 21

Sunday 22 September 2013 13:16

I'd get a doctors note if I were you. Just to be sure your boss knows that it's legit. Hope you feel better, OP. Try and stay hydrated.

KatieMajestic 17

Sunday 22 September 2013 13:18

You jinxed it.

Comments

InfiniteSecret 20

Friday 22 September 2017 23:40

Wow you tempted the universe to screw you over You should never do that. Have fun trying to explain that to work ????

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The Top

Today, my brother-in-law is a complete toxic asshole who makes me have panic attacks. He nitpicks my house non-stop and always puts me down. I'm a normal, good person, but all I want now is for him to suffer greatly in life for all the horrible things he has said to me and about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 124

Today, my neighbour from across the road phoned me at work telling me there was a fire engine outside my house and a lot of smoke. I drove home in a panic, smashing a rear light on a post and getting flashed by a speed camera. It wasn't my house. The firemen were putting out a bonfire next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 856

You deserved it 6 630

The Top

Today, I found FML for the first time in class, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of the lecture in front of 200 classmates. Today's lecture? The cruelties of slavery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 462

You deserved it 33 144

Today, my toddler was supposed to be taking a nap. Instead, he decided it was the perfect time to remove his own nappy for the first time ever. He painted his walls, floor, bed and body, then started crying because he was dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 050

You deserved it 340

Today, after assuring my best friend that his girlfriend would never cheat on him, I came home to my brother having loud sex with my best friend's girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 734

You deserved it 2 640

Today, I broke my dominant hand. My teacher insists we hand-write our essays. I called and asked if it was okay for me to type up the essays. She said no. I have two essays due tomorrow, which count for half my grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 373

You deserved it 3 597

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 221

You deserved it 3 210

Today, I asked my boyfriend advice on apartment hunting - as we were planning to move in with each other. He told me that there is no way he can afford to move out of his parents' house anytime soon. He can, however, afford a collection of belt-fed automatic nerf guns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 103

You deserved it 6 383