Miscellaneous: Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't...

By Anonymous - 06/06/2015 04:20 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 932

You deserved it 2 190

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/11/2015 13:37 - United States - Palmer

Today, my boss forced me to come into work despite having a bad cold. While waiting a table, I violently sneezed and sprayed a child's face with snot. His dad got so pissed that my boss had to pretend to fire me just to calm him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 723

You deserved it 2 652

Lava

By not_fakingit - 22/09/2013 04:26 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 563

You deserved it 11 247

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 019

You deserved it 5 401

By badbowel - 31/01/2018 13:00 - United States - Utica

Today, I was sick from both ends at work. My boss wouldn't let me go home, and told me to borrow a pair of spare pants to change into. I suffered another bout of gastroenteritis and shit someone else's pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 872

You deserved it 299

Buckethead

By hi! - 17/09/2021 14:00

Today, I called in sick for the first time. My boss said that if I didn’t show up, not only would he fire me, but he’d make sure I never find another job for the rest of my life. So I showed up to work with a bucket, puking every five minutes. My boss still made me stay the full nine hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 807

You deserved it 142

By Anonymous - 21/04/2015 15:40 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 379

You deserved it 2 933

By anon - 26/07/2010 04:22 - United States

Today, I was fired from the restaurant I work at because I missed my shift. I missed it because I was in the hospital for food poisoning from the meal I ate at work last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 109

You deserved it 3 234

The squits

By Cliff - 11/10/2024 00:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 92

By Mark - 27/02/2015 18:24 - Malta - Naxxar

Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 868

You deserved it 2 720

By Anonymous - 20/08/2010 18:40 - United States

Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 863

You deserved it 3 161

jkp1291 25

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:16

This has to be against someone kind of law or policy. Please, for the good of mankind it has to be.

WCARlover 34

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:14

Wow you'd think he would at least do it partly for himself...ain't nobody want to be around that smell. Sorry OP :/

Comments

WCARlover 34

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:14

Wow you'd think he would at least do it partly for himself...ain't nobody want to be around that smell. Sorry OP :/

ScarredVox92 16

Sunday 7 June 2015 5:48

Sounds like a crappy boss to me. anybody? nobody? okay...

jerryj 27

Sunday 7 June 2015 15:17

Nobody. Now gtfo.

SweetheartSusie 20

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:14

That's a shitty situation OP.

Rkikkas9713 25

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:18

You should feel bad for that horrible pun.

WCARlover 34

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:36

If your comment is the situation you're referring to then you're absolutely correct

ZeusBeDubsteppin 24

Sunday 7 June 2015 5:12

you're fired

fromwhereistand 2

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:16

for the day, why don't you sit around in your boss's cabin

jkp1291 25

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:16

This has to be against someone kind of law or policy. Please, for the good of mankind it has to be.

memeometer 11

Sunday 7 June 2015 1:26

This actually could be a lawsuit, did he say that he doesn't think you are sick?

devildog562 33

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:17

One of those situations that I wouldn't much care about working there anymore. I would drop my pants and finish what I started in hit office and use the chair as a wipe. Cause your boss is and asshole.