Death and Animals: Life's a beach - FML

Life's a beach

By squishylog - 12/08/2011 07:44 - United States

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 926

You deserved it 7 102

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Same thing different taste

By LexiBoBexi - 12/07/2010 05:38 - United States

Today, my family and I went to the coast. Our dog was off the leash because we were the only people around. He was delighted to find a dead seal carcass and roll around in its remains. We then had a 3 hour drive home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 633

You deserved it 8 632

By Anonymous - 13/08/2011 19:12 - United States

Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 821

You deserved it 6 331

By targe - 19/10/2011 09:40 - Australia

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 850

You deserved it 3 603

By zzfreakshow - 15/10/2013 00:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 839

You deserved it 5 045

Now you know

By Ouchies - 18/03/2021 17:01

Today, I went to the beach. My friend decided it would be funny to push me into a bunch of Portuguese Man-O-War jellyfish washed up on the shore. Did you know their tentacles can sting even if they’re dead? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 152

You deserved it 91

By poopedon - 26/04/2009 03:10 - Canada

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 996

You deserved it 18 158

Close call

By Anonymous - 09/11/2023 06:00 - Canada

Today, I went on a relaxing nature hike to de-stress. I got lost for hours, encountered a bear, and had to play dead, only for the bear to steal my sandwich then sit there for hours before finally leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 169

By sothisishowidie - 30/09/2013 11:18 - Guam - Yigo

Today, my friends and I spent a little too long enjoying a beautiful cliff overlooking the ocean. We spent the next 3 hours lost in a pitch black jungle with only one pocket-sized flashlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 751

You deserved it 12 999

Nice friends you got there

By Schrewt - 24/01/2010 08:50 - France

Today, my friends and I went camping. In the middle of the night, they carried me deep into the forest and left me there. I stepped on a beehive as I walked back to the tent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 655

You deserved it 3 166

He needs them more than you

By cjj325 - 20/03/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 030

You deserved it 32 536

Next

Top comments

stevie1359 0

Friday 12 August 2011 16:09

Couldnt you smell it? Lol

swasticop 0

Friday 12 August 2011 16:13

As long as you didn't have sex on it...

Comments

Imachillifilliz 2

Friday 12 August 2011 18:37

I'd poop my pants

RayanneY 0

Friday 12 August 2011 18:43

Really, you couldn't see it before you sat?..

coolchick1130 9

Friday 12 August 2011 18:49

ew that's disgusting

cheesetothepower 7

Friday 12 August 2011 19:01

How did you not realize it was a dead animal from the smell? It doesn't make it suck any less, but I would imagine it would smell horrific enough to warn you.

cheesetothepower 7

Friday 12 August 2011 19:03

How did you not realize it was a dead animal from the smell? It doesn't make it suck any less, but I would imagine it would smell horrific enough to warn you.

Eaglestrike117 29

Friday 12 August 2011 19:14

Higher than seeing a log on the beach... Seriously, OP, how did you not notice it was a dead seal?

thir13enthour 0

Friday 12 August 2011 19:17

Did that "Seal" the deal. Lol bad pun...

Calyx_fml 21

Friday 12 August 2011 19:17

It wasn't dead until you fatties sat on it.

jallred254 4

Sunday 14 August 2011 23:57

And you weren't fat til you ate it

jonmansheppard 9

Friday 12 August 2011 19:23

careful, dead things that are sat on are known to attack back *sits on same seal*. oh shit...

Raheemdplayer 7

Friday 12 August 2011 19:35

LMAO, you're lucky it didn't explode from the pressure, that would have been disgusting

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You deserved it 394

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You deserved it 2 320