"Grow up?" Because that's such an appropriate response to tell someone who just found out their partner is having an affair.

Hitting your spouse is NEVER appropriate

I bet if the wife slapped the husband you wouldn't have said that.

It's funny, cause I've seen FMLs where everyone is OK with suggesting battery, but the second it happens to the woman...

@122 it is

Also I feel like she thought he wouldn't freak out because it was your wedding. But she was dead wrong.

His dad is a legend for doing that! Remember NEVER cheat on your man ladies and vice Versa.

So you make a scene on your daughter's wedding to humiliate and embarrass your ex wife instead of dealing with it in a more mature way?

They're not exes. The OP says the mom just admitted to having an affair at the OP's wedding.

perfect role models

no, he has a right to be mad. however, it was an asshole move of him to ruin his daughter's wedding. he should of waited till after the wedding to talk and confront his wife.

and his wife should've brought up the affair after the wedding. it goes both ways

They are both at fault for tarnishing that memory for the OP. Drama and immaturity abound. I would have kicked them out if they'd rather squabble over share a cherished moment with me and my family.

Well it sure was supposed to be her day.

#38 Are you my long lost potato brother?

It appalls me that I'm seeing so many comments claiming that this woman deserves to be struck by her husband. His reaction is certainly understandable, and no, it doesn't necessarily make him a bad person, but that doesn't mean violence was appropriate. Maybe she deserves to be publicly humiliated. Maybe she deserves to be divorced and lose all or half of her possessions. Those are often the natural consequences of infidelity. Physical violence, however, is not necessary. And, for all we know, he may have been neglecting and / or abusing her for years, and her affair was a coping mechanism for her mistreatment. It wouldn't surprise me, given his very public violent outburst. I'm not saying that's definitely what happened, but it is a possibility.

And no man deserves to be cheated on especially after building up a family and especially after seeing his kid getting married. She's a coward for not seeking counseling to work on the relationship or even have the nerve to break up with him before moving on with other guys and she deserved every ounce of humiliation she got! I just feel bad it had to happen on OP's wedding though.

As someone who was once married to an abusive and neglectful man, I can tell you that it's not that easy to "just leave." I met my current husband while still married to my former husband. We went on a date and kissed before I told my (then) husband I was leaving him. When I told my husband I wanted a divorce, he punched a hole in the wall and put his head through a closet door. Then when I tried to leave the house because he was scaring me, he took away my car keys and physically blocked me from the door. No, I didn't engage in a full blown, long term affair, but each situation is different and mine was mild compared to many others. When you feel trapped but want to move on, you'll take what love and affection you can get, and sometimes it's in the form of an affair because ending your marriage outright isn't a viable option at the time. Again, I'm not saying this is undoubtedly what's going on here. The mom may be just a promiscuous nut who betrayed a good husband and then decided on her own to announce her behavior at the most inappropriate time possible. But we don't know that. There's two sides to every story. That's all I'm saying.

Did you ever at one point threaten him with police?

62, Not going to go into details, but often the police are useless or worse in such situations. That's a huge part of the problem.

You never really answered the question, GraceHi. Was that truly the FIRST time you had cheated on your husband? I don't support a husband being abusive or violent, but you also need to look at it this way: People usually don't get mad over absolutely nothing. The stereotypical "man who beats his wife for cooking dinner wrong" is a made-up caricature by the feminazi movement. Usually, a man hits his wife out of anger and frustration and humiliation because the wife absolutely DOGS him, cheats on him, laughs in his face about it, to the point he can't stand it anymore. Ive seen it happen to a buddy who served in the Marines, and then when he finally snapped and punched her, of course she goes right to jail and fake cries and they throw the book at him. In reality, I knew both of them very well- he was NOT the bad guy in that situation. She had punched him a few times too, and nobody did anything about it. Men get hit often by women, we just rarely report such things. Its funny too, feminists act like they're for equality, but then if a man goes to the cops about being assaulted by a woman, WHETHER THEY SAY IT OR NOT, the women judge the crap out of him and assume he is weak, lame, inferior, and a creep for "snitching" on her. However, when a man hits a woman and the woman reports it, women praise her "courage" for reporting it. Tf? Thats why.

Yes, 66. Yes it was. And it was only after he had cheated several times, not to mention the other ways he mistreated me. And he still had the audacity to act shocked and appalled and oh so hurt when I told him I met somebody else. Because that's what abusers are like. They are perpetual victims, because they never take responsibility for their own behavior and cannot fathom that their actions have consequences. You come off like one of these nutso MRA types. The man who beats his wife for cooking dinner wrong is not made up. It's very real.

In that case, I apologize, and the guy sounds like a complete asshole and you weren't really in the wrong there. I do get a little defensive, because everyone acts like men are always the abusers, even though numerous studies all show that over 60% of domestic violence is actually initiated by women, and the majority of domestic violence is reciprocal, meaning they both hit the other one from time to time. With that said, I think its important not to label ANYONE. Regardless of race, gender, etc. GraceHi, I do still think you should have left him before you cheated. Its simple. You walk out of the home, stay with a friend or family member, and then work on finding another man. In your case, you simply wanted to hook a new man before you dumped the old one, for matters of convenience and not being a burden on friends/family. But regardless of anything else, 2 wrongs never make a right, you shouldn't have cheated, period, I don't cheat and I don't hit either. I have been cheated on and I have been hit, and personally ill tell you what, I would rather be hit than be cheated on but thats just me.

#70, While on the one hand I accept your apology and agree with what you're saying about violence against men, on the other hand I must reiterate that leaving an abusive partner is NOT simple. Please, please, please get that idea out of your head. That is one of the many common misconceptions that perpetuates violence because victims are hesitant to speak up to get the help they need for fear of being judged and ridiculed. I already said that when I tried to leave my ex, he physically stopped my from leaving. How was I supposed to stand up to someone a foot taller and a hundred pounds heavier than me? And how am I supposed to call the police when that same person is watching my every move? And like I said, my situation was mild. Stories others have shared with me about when they left their abusers would absolutely horrify you. And while you are absolutely correct that I should have left me ex sooner, your are absolutely wrong that I was trying to "hook a new man before I dumped the old one for convenience." My "new man" lived 150 miles away and I had to keep my relationship with him a secret until the divorce was finalized because I was in the military and thus subject to a law that specifically forbade me from engaging in a relationship with anyone other than my husband. There was nothing "convenient" about it. Please stop making assumptions.

how about you don't tell someone who has been through an abusive relationship how abusive relationships work? the whole feminazi concept you speak of is a lie. there are evil men in this world who do unspeakable things to the ones who love them the most. you need to open your eyes to 2 things: 1. there really are men in the world who would hit his wife for no reason. saying such things dont happen is plain ignorant and insensitive. and 2. feminists do often support male victims of domestic violence. i, as a feminist do often spread awareness about male domestic violence victims and so do many other feminists that i know. your view of the world is misguided, my friend.

And you know what else? If you want to make the argument that a person should leave an abusive partner rather than cheat, how about you consider that a person should leave a cheating partner rather than hit them? That logic goes both ways, people.

Completely agree that you shouldn't hit a lady but you can't exactly call this woman a lady and so I won't defend her and say that she didnt deserve it. I understand where you're coming from but that is simply an assumption on your part, he may never have been abusive/aggressive and the shock of hearing he was being cheated on sent him into a rage and for one thing if your going to admit to having an affair why the **** would you do it in the middle of your daughters wedding ceremony, if seeing her getting married made you guilty or something then wait until its over! Overall, although I probably wouldn't have done the same thing in his place I have nothing against the mans decision and I hope the woman lives a very happy life, broke, with her new lover

#78, If you read my comments carefully, you'll notice that I assumed absolutely nothing. I acknowledged that it's completely possible that the father had always been good to his wife and she just suddenly confessed to an affair out of nowhere. I also acknowledged that his reaction wasn't totally unreasonable. I simply pointed out that it was unnecessary and wrong regardless. As for why she confessed at the wedding, I suspect that it may be because he confronted her about his suspicions there. Again, it's only a guess, but I think that scenario is more likely than her just brining it up on her own in place like that. But then, who knows? Maybe she's just bat shit crazy. Like I said, we don't really know.

And another thing: how about instead of blaming abuse victims for having affairs, how about we blame abusers for not allowing their victims to simply end their relationship when they want to? What are they supposed to do? Refuse an opportunity for happiness that they should be allowed anyway out of an underserved loyalty to someone who mistreats them? How is that fair?

If abusers would just not be abusive and not coerce, manipulate, and intimidate unwilling partners into staying in a relationship they don't want, infidelity wouldn't be an issue in the first place. It's like getting mad a rape victim for giving her rapist an STD.

There are a lot of females that are the violent ones, my cousin wad actually abusing her husband for no reason, she took fighting classes and weighed 120 pounds less than him and was a lot shorter, but she gave him a black eye a few times and even knocked out 3 of his teeth. So please get out of your mind that only men are abusive, j personally believe that if my girlfriend hit me, then she deserves to get hit back. Because to me neither should get hit by the other, but if one hits first, they can defend themselves.

This thread upsets me. Grace, I'm sorry you went through such a traumatic experience. Having gone through my own abusive relationships, I understand the fear and inability to leave. I'm so happy you're okay now and that he didn't kill you! People like this are why is so difficult for women to speak out against their abusers.

I wanted to point out that the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when the woman does leave, that's when she's most likely to get seriously hurt or possibly killed. That's another reason why they don't "just leave him".

Thank you, 115. In glad you're okay and made it out alive as well. :) 101, I never said that females were never abusers. Where did you get that idea?

How do you know it's an abusive relationship? He didn't seriously hurt her or else OP would have said so. She could just be a lying *****. She deserved to be slapped bc 1) she had an affair and 2) bc she chose to tell him at their daughters wedding.

I was an MRA for about 40 minutes once. Then I discovered that just because they're called 'Male Right's Activists' doesn't mean they're anything of the sort. Just another shitty misleading name.

Found the feminazi. "The woman had an af-" "IT WAS THE MAN'S FAULT!"

I'm sorry this happened to you and if this was the situation is makes sense but if she was just having an affair to have an affair, she deserved it.

It's weird that you called me a "feminazi" and then turned around and expressed sympathy. I didn't assume the husband did anything to drive the wife to have affair. I simply pointed out it was a possibility. And no, it isn't necessarily his fault his wife had an affair, but it is his fault he hit her.

It doesn't matter if she deserved it. SPOUSAL ABUSE IS NEVER OK!

That's probably why wife confessed.

**** that, let her Dad stay, her Mom's the bitch who thought her daughters wedding was an appropriate place to air her dirty laundry and admit to an affair. It's like she thought, "Hey, it's my daughters big day! How can I make it all about me?" Boot that bitch right out the door.

Maybe she thought it was not appropriate, but the dad would be less likely to cause a scene. Either way, the mom is still a bitch.

Not only is the mom in fault because of the affair, but she chose her daughter's WEDDING to admit it. Granted she probably didn't think it would cause a scene but it isn't about her.

What if the father was the one who was bugging her about it and she admitted it so he would stop asking her about it so they could enjoy the wedding since it was the bride and groom's day? Both parents should be able to stay.

No it is. And so was that pun.

Well, *I* thought it was funny. So you got that going for you. Which is nice.

my thoughts exactly

Maybe the father kept pestering her about it and if she admitted it, he'd drop it so they could focus on the wedding.

The only logic I could think of is that she wanted to say it in a place where the husband wouldn't make a scene. Clearly, that logic turned against her.