Animals, Painful and Kids: Little demon

Little demon

By Hackmanjones - 13/06/2009 14:42 - Canada

Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said, "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 426

You deserved it 4 816

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Same thing different taste

By bbbkingsey - 23/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 883

You deserved it 4 373

By jessica - 17/02/2009 23:56 - United States

Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 068

You deserved it 9 527

By LennyComa - 19/03/2017 00:00

Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 590

You deserved it 941

Make it stop!

By Anonymous - 21/04/2024 21:00 - Ireland - Navan

Today, I volunteered to sit in stocks at a fair. Lots of kids pulled off my shoes and socks and tickled my feet for several minutes. I was laughing so hard there were tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 333

By Greg - 16/12/2018 13:30

Today, I arrived to apply for my much-needed dream job. Without warning, just as the elevator opened, a complete stranger kicked me square in the nads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 600

You deserved it 223

Exhaustion

By Shell - 05/03/2009 07:14 - United States

Today, I was working at Chuck-E-Cheese. If that isn't enough, I was put in the mouse costume. Due to the disgusting hot smell and atmosphere in the costume, I fainted in front of a birthday party. I awoke to a little boy screaming who then kicked me in the face and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 403

You deserved it 4 421

By Shitty day - 24/05/2016 05:59 - United States - Agoura Hills

Today, while explaining to a group of kids that monkeys are very intelligent creatures, one of them flung poo in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 649

You deserved it 1 568

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 07:26

Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 156

You deserved it 9 109

By Annoymous - 03/09/2009 10:19 - Australia

Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 496

You deserved it 5 810

By PlsForget - 18/08/2016 21:47 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I was volunteering at a neighborhood house tutoring a bunch of kids. Everything was going fine until one of them jumped on the table I was at, which broke and hit my knee. I swore in front of all the kids and my volunteer coordinator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 666

You deserved it 1 293

anonymousjason 0

Friday 19 June 2009 7:57

You're a woman and you have balls. Your L is F'd.

joecoyote 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 20:20

well at least he knows you weren't real lol thats a smart "slow" kid =P

Comments

easylazy 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 2:31

BART SIMPSON!!!!!!!!!

i8anfml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 4:30

hey, he was right.

grocky 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 0:57

Um, you aren't a woman obviously if you have been "kicked in the balls".

skiz_fml 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:26

Thats what I thought, tho I think He probly made a mistake, but how can a little kid kick that high?

skiz_fml 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:33

Oops, I read the FML wrong. Yeah I get how the kid could have kicked that high

nolove_16 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 22:02

uh, it says you're a "woman" but you got kicked in the balls?

cwl727 32

Saturday 22 March 2014 0:07

I was wondering when somebody was going to mention that.

Hansongirl 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 9:00

Wait I'm confused...it says your a woman next to your screename so call me crazy but how do you have balls?

shoegal808 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 6:44

FYL. You're a woman. With balls.

lol_lmao 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 4:14

LMFAO

Protegas 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 4:28

Hm... Shoulda kicked him back :P

ziqi92 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 3:11

a real kangaroo would have kicked the kid first...to the ground

Keywords

Embarrassing Miscellaneous Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 031

You deserved it 3 461

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 005

You deserved it 3 398

The Top

Today, a lady on the subway sat next to me. She kept huffing and burping and was holding a plastic bag. I couldn't even finish the thought, "please don't puke on me" because she puked on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 993

You deserved it 183

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Due to the drugs they gave me I felt nauseous. When I went to the bathroom as a precaution I did not throw up. Instead I passed out face first in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 159

You deserved it 3 161

Today, I had a one night stand. After her laying there without moving for ages, she impatiently asked if I'd finished. Once she got bored and told me to just finish myself off, her song playlist began playing "Never Gonna Dance Again". Very romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 110

You deserved it 1 247

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her iTunes was on random. "Rape Me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 733

You deserved it 6 667

Today, my sister and I heard a buzzing noise in our parents' bedroom, so we went to investigate. It was coming from a drawer, so we opened it. Inside, a battery-operated dildo was flapping around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 541

You deserved it 5 643

Today, it turns out calling out my mother's best friend out for the right-wing conspiracy theorist she is wasn't one of my best ideas. Now, my mother won't even reply to my messages. It's been two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 503

Little demon

Same thing different taste

Make it stop!

Exhaustion

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