Intimacy: Make it rain

Make it rain

By howler - 15/02/2011 06:44 - United States

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 298

You deserved it 64 731

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Same thing different taste

By gas money - 22/11/2015 04:34 - United States - Reno

Today, I found $100 on the ground. My mom is taking $40 because she was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 857

You deserved it 3 500

Addict

By Anonymous - 23/09/2013 02:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mother asked me if she could borrow $200. Being the lovely daughter I am, I gave her my bank card to withdraw it herself. She gambled it away and maxed my bank account out. I had $1500 saved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 765

You deserved it 20 872

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Walnut

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 288

You deserved it 2 452

By SilverAuthor - 29/07/2016 22:53 - United States - Detroit

Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 350

You deserved it 2 071

Kinky

By Keesha - 18/03/2021 19:30 - United States - Loveland

Today, my mother bitched at me for spending $200 on a new clothes I needed for my new job as a bank teller. I then received a notification on my phone that my mother's lingerie order was shipped. She spent $800 on teddies and crotchless panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 167

You deserved it 84

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 05:28 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 105

You deserved it 2 793

How could you?

By Anonymous - 29/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 862

By Isabell - 06/02/2010 05:31 - Australia

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 770

You deserved it 5 871

By ikungfuyou - 27/12/2011 07:11 - United States

Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 727

You deserved it 10 246

By Anonymous - 21/04/2009 18:12 - United States

Today, I was running the register at my work and this big lady pulls her wad of cash out of her bra and hands it to me. The bills she handed me were moist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 292

You deserved it 3 868

x_Cupcakes 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:08

lol. Next time you want to do something weird, lock the door.

hideyoself 4

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:06

You cheep bastard

Comments

JeralynBoox3 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 15:41

Ur mom shud knock from noow on ; yoou dont want her catchingg yoou doingg somethingg else, now would yoou ?

mattitucklove01 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 15:51

you should have closed the darn door! I just imagine what your mother must be thinking!

marc_with_a_c 3

Tuesday 15 February 2011 16:09

why you'd do that is beyond me

SadNemo 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 16:14

...did you stop?

ymrasu 12

Tuesday 15 February 2011 16:39

rawr

ScrabbleBabe2010 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 16:48

The Most common thing on money is cocaine. This is only really a fml if OP was in their birthday suit.

Dejaay 2

Tuesday 15 February 2011 17:29

LOL, this made my day :') Sounds like a situation that cost a lot.

AARONPSP 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 17:42

let's just be happy that your mom didn't take $300 in parental taxes. lol that's something I would do. oh did I mention the $100 transaction fee?

whitedemon_fml 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 18:18

how did you get the money lol

ScuseMePrincess 2

Tuesday 15 February 2011 18:23

Did anyone else think of Mr. Krabs or Scrooge McDuck upon reading this?

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The Top

Today, I was at a party, and heard a mutual acquaintance had been arrested. I asked what for, and was told "Cheese pizza." I yelled in confusion and outrage, since I thought they were joking. I was told later in private what "Cheese pizza" meant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 142

Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 300

You deserved it 6 514

The Top

Today, my boss told me, "You oversold your skills in your job interview." I have worked in this industry for 25 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 124

Today, I was late to dinner with my anal-retentive parents because my boyfriend was too busy making cock puppets in the shower to get ready to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 800

You deserved it 3 385

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching TV and there were penguins laying eggs. He said, "Penguins are mammals, they don't lay eggs." I replied, "Penguins are birds." We fought about it for ages until he realised that I was right, and has since stopped talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 438

You deserved it 2 758

Today, my 5-year-old got carsick and lost his breakfast all over himself and the back seat. When I got home to clean him off and clean out the car, I discovered that construction workers hit a main water line while working on road expansion at the front of my neighborhood. We won’t have running water until 4 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 597

You deserved it 115

Today, I found out that I am allergic to one of the preservatives that they put in aloe. I found this out after I put some on a severe sunburn I have. Not only am I sunburned, but now I am severely itchy as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 048

You deserved it 4 193

Today, I went to Home Depot because the lamp I'd bought there a few days ago was missing a part, and I wanted to get one that was complete. They wouldn't change it because it wasn't complete, and the policy said they wouldn't change anything that wasn't complete. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 882

You deserved it 165