Cats, Cute and Animals: Master manipulator - FML

Master manipulator

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Turkey

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 212

You deserved it 6 111

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/03/2013 14:22 - United States - Audubon

Today, my cat learned the hard way what the bathtub is for. While I was in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 933

You deserved it 3 983

By MoncaBang - 29/01/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 684

You deserved it 3 453

By Anonymous - 04/05/2009 12:37 - Canada

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 008

You deserved it 28 867

Rescue cat

By crazycatlady - 04/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 428

You deserved it 838

Smelly cat, smelly cat…

By Kas - 25/11/2020 11:02

Today, my cat decided the perfect place to throw up was on herself. Cleaning a smelly old cat with a showerhead is trouble enough, but when she tried to escape, it resulted in the bathroom being turned into one big puddle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 778

You deserved it 144

By Adam - 16/03/2010 20:51 - United States

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 335

You deserved it 5 185

By catwoman - 31/10/2009 04:34 - Australia

Today, I learned why my bathroom has a horrible, seemingly irremovable stench. My cat doesn't squat to pee like a normal cat. She stands up, peeing over the side of the litter tray all over the wall and floor, which are now a permanent yellow tinge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 149

You deserved it 5 481

Scaredy cat

By poop - 24/03/2016 18:15 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I discovered my cat is bathroom shy when I accidentally walked in on him relieving himself. He jumped about 3 feet in the air and bolted out, launching feces and pee all over the bathroom, hallway, and my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 062

You deserved it 2 559

By Noname - 12/03/2009 22:08 - United States

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150 410

You deserved it 22 965

By damn cats - 12/08/2018 22:00

Today my cat watched me clean and refill his water bowls, then shoved his fresh-out-of-the-litter-box paw in my glass of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 421

You deserved it 346

Next

Top comments

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 8 November 2010 18:45

Did he put the lid up?

amerwin 3

Monday 8 November 2010 18:48

Mr. Jenks!!! Cats lack opposable thumbs, Focker.

Comments

MrNikolaus 0

Monday 8 November 2010 21:11

Haha, my cat opens certain windows and the dog-door.

musicman2059 0

Monday 8 November 2010 21:13

that's one amazing cat.

XexyWinch 0

Monday 8 November 2010 21:43

I'm so scared for you

banananut 0

Monday 8 November 2010 21:57

First step, flushing toilets while people shower. Next step, terrorism. Watch out, your cat is soon gonna be the next Saddam Hussein.

wwerulez14 6

Tuesday 9 November 2010 0:30

No... He'll be the next Osama Bin Laden. He'll wise up, and learn that by being like Saddam Hussein, he' s going to be hung for his crimes against humanity. So he'll enlist other cats into doing the dirty work for him.

bethlovesollie 0

Monday 8 November 2010 22:55

that is so cute!!

a_girl_i_know 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 1:27

I wish my cat would flush the toilet...

varkey 7

Tuesday 9 November 2010 1:31

why do you put him in the bathroom when you're taking a shower anyway? YDI

instnt1nfction 17

Tuesday 9 November 2010 1:33

WTF?

angrynegro7 16

Tuesday 9 November 2010 2:08

My cats would open my bathroom door while I was taking a dump and just stare at me. Creeped me out...

jazzy2588 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 5:07

^ Diz made mee lmao! :D

CherryBomb511 3

Tuesday 9 November 2010 7:40

My cat does that too!! Though I know for sure that he's a freak.

XxMoonGirlAshomi 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 3:46

lol!!!! funny kitty!!! I love cats!!!!

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 303

Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 464

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 51 848

You deserved it 2 972

Today, my grandpa moved into the house to live with my family. Along with having to share a room with him, he swears that having the AC on will give him pneumonia, and he keeps saying he's "freezing" when the temperature inside gets below 85. We live in Nevada. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 815

You deserved it 3 562

Today, I had a theatre performance. I had to put on a lot of makeup for the role, and one of the guys said I looked nice. I smiled and said thanks. Seconds later, I'd been sucker-punched by his girlfriend for "flirting" with her man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 425

You deserved it 2 242

Today, I went to a hospital in Uganda, where I'm working with an NGO for the summer. I had a high fever and other symptoms of malaria. They gave me a test, and I don't have malaria. I'm now however sick from the water they gave me to wash down a medication to reduce fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 929

You deserved it 3 334

Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 518

You deserved it 3 424

Today, I bought an expensive, heat-resistant double-sided tape to attach my dashcam to the windshield. It didn't last five hours, but has stuck nicely to the floor mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 556

You deserved it 168