Cats, Cute and Animals: Master manipulator

Master manipulator

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Turkey

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 212

You deserved it 6 111

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/03/2013 14:22 - United States - Audubon

Today, my cat learned the hard way what the bathtub is for. While I was in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 933

You deserved it 3 983

By MoncaBang - 29/01/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 684

You deserved it 3 453

By Anonymous - 04/05/2009 12:37 - Canada

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 008

You deserved it 28 867

Rescue cat

By crazycatlady - 04/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 428

You deserved it 838

Smelly cat, smelly cat…

By Kas - 25/11/2020 11:02

Today, my cat decided the perfect place to throw up was on herself. Cleaning a smelly old cat with a showerhead is trouble enough, but when she tried to escape, it resulted in the bathroom being turned into one big puddle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 778

You deserved it 144

By Adam - 16/03/2010 20:51 - United States

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 335

You deserved it 5 185

By catwoman - 31/10/2009 04:34 - Australia

Today, I learned why my bathroom has a horrible, seemingly irremovable stench. My cat doesn't squat to pee like a normal cat. She stands up, peeing over the side of the litter tray all over the wall and floor, which are now a permanent yellow tinge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 149

You deserved it 5 481

Scaredy cat

By poop - 24/03/2016 18:15 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I discovered my cat is bathroom shy when I accidentally walked in on him relieving himself. He jumped about 3 feet in the air and bolted out, launching feces and pee all over the bathroom, hallway, and my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 062

You deserved it 2 559

By Noname - 12/03/2009 22:08 - United States

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150 410

You deserved it 22 965

By damn cats - 12/08/2018 22:00

Today my cat watched me clean and refill his water bowls, then shoved his fresh-out-of-the-litter-box paw in my glass of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 421

You deserved it 346

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 8 November 2010 18:45

Did he put the lid up?

amerwin 3

Monday 8 November 2010 18:48

Mr. Jenks!!! Cats lack opposable thumbs, Focker.

Comments

PizzaGuy11 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 4:58

I have a book and five diffrent college degrees.

ImmaZebra 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 5:19

^^^ Hahaha. :)

BeautifulDizaztr 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 5:56

YDI, cats are evil and the spawn of Satan.

FYLwindowlicker 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 8:12

RAWR!

maphineRAWRS 10

Tuesday 9 November 2010 6:10

I hate cats hahaha they always look like they will leap and attach itself to my face and claw at it...

musicFrEaK1077 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 7:32

awesome kitty kat.

oz83 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 8:19

you totally deserve it for owning a cat

wriptidez 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 8:50

thats cute

restythestar 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 9:09

YDI for owning a cat.

yucayucatan 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 10:10

I totally understand you, those little *******. I hate them

MeyMeyChan 6

Tuesday 9 November 2010 12:56

Meow~ Kitty Kitty.. Yep. They're evil.. But so cute! x3 Evil and cute.. Just like me! >:3

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving Roast Duck I would be serving Roast Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 124

You deserved it 44 810

Today, I was enjoying the benefits of marriage with my new husband. We were changing positions when my joints started crackling and popping like my mother's did when I was a kid. My husband stopped, concerned about my possible pain... I'm 20 years-old and pop like an arthritic 50 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 612

You deserved it 3 895

The Top

Today, while volunteering at a local homeless shelter, I asked the woman next to me how long she'd been homeless. She works there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 771

You deserved it 10 856

Today, my older brother burst into my bedroom at 4 am to show me photos of sushi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 795

You deserved it 3 226

Today, I found out the reason I've been itchy for the last two weeks is because I'm now allergic to chlorine. I'm also a swimming instructor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 300

You deserved it 3 189

Today, my cat was diagnosed with FIV, to which my in-laws said, "That's impossible!" Apparently, what is possible though is that aliens are stealing their pool water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 022

You deserved it 858

Today, a few friends and I ran through sprinklers at our school until we were all soaked. Then we were told that they put fertilizer in the water. I'm soaked in manure. Now I know why it tasted weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 796

You deserved it 41 864

Today, I chipped a tooth trying to solve a Rubik's Cube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 765

You deserved it 30 102