Kids: Metal as **** - FML

Metal as ****

By lerouxmaster - 22/12/2010 11:43

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 802

You deserved it 9 641

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Same thing different taste

By blah blah daddy - 02/10/2010 23:08 - United States

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 425

You deserved it 10 379

Straight to jail

By anon - 15/07/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 000

You deserved it 70 968

By Anonymous - 20/04/2013 16:34 - Thailand

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 054

You deserved it 7 066

By unknown - 15/09/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 179

You deserved it 6 096

By potatoebee - 03/04/2012 18:19 - United States - Clover

Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 725

You deserved it 27 240

By bubbles - 05/09/2009 23:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I worked my first day at a nursery. At nap time I spent about an hour trying to get all the kids to calm down and go to sleep. I'd finally got the last one to drop off, when my phone rang. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 696

You deserved it 41 090

By mew - 25/10/2011 18:04 - Canada

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 174

You deserved it 3 236

By stressedmom36 - 13/08/2015 23:50 - United States - Tampa

Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 399

You deserved it 2 780

Sussy Baka

By boymom - 04/08/2021 15:59

Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 161

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 560

You deserved it 4 699

Next

Top comments

in_side_out 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 15:58

**** yeah . your sons gonna be a rocker hard out

Good_old_Grim 8

Wednesday 22 December 2010 16:01

Where is the "congratulations" button?

Comments

i_am_remy 0

Thursday 23 December 2010 6:45

Your kid's a bad-ass be proud.

brainstew0 0

Thursday 23 December 2010 7:24

how does he know how to start a mosh pit? :p hahA

ChaoticJaela11 1

Thursday 23 December 2010 8:08

They called you because they were worried your kid would affect others because he's just too awesome. Be proud of your awesome son. Sucks for the teacher because he/she is not a winner. Jk don't worry, your kid will be fine :)

Acousticpixie14 6

Thursday 23 December 2010 8:53

That is epic! I hope my lil boy is that awesome when he gets here!

broskinoes 0

Thursday 23 December 2010 9:17

that-a boy!

shell0908 0

Thursday 23 December 2010 9:23

u should be proud

brentfahey 0

Thursday 23 December 2010 9:24

that kids a bad ass ************

dannyarcher 0

Thursday 23 December 2010 10:01

You should be proud, he's the most inteligent kid at the day care.

dward28 0

Thursday 23 December 2010 10:03

that's awesome

thelionking555 1

Thursday 23 December 2010 10:44

That is bad ass. i would be so proud of my kid if he did that

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Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Zoom

The Top

Today, I got dressed, did my hair, carefully applied my makeup, sprayed myself with perfume, grabbed my bag and put on my coat. I got to the door, and then realised that I had nowhere to go, nothing to do and none of my friends were answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 537

Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 623

You deserved it 42 687

The Top

Today, I found out my dad is dating my dead mom's best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 269

Today, I tried to pet my cat. By doing so, I accidentally shocked her with the static electricity in my fingers, and she slashed my face in retaliation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 178

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the cinema. Or rather, she went with her other boyfriend, and I happened to see them there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 313

You deserved it 3 187

Today, I was told by my boyfriend's parents to never come back to his house again, and was given a lecture about rule breaking. Apparently, curfew is midnight, and he isn't allowed to have girls over. This didn't sound so unreasonable until I remembered that we're both almost 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 958

You deserved it 3 998

Today, my new doctor asked if I'm sexually active. I said no. He nodded and murmured "No surprise there." Thanks, mate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 500

You deserved it 2 722

Today, I met my new neighbors when they backed into my parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 220

You deserved it 2 805