Sex and Love: Missed you too

Missed you too

By ooook - 16/02/2009 17:08 - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend came over. After I'd finished pouring my heart out to him about how much I missed him, and how much I loved him, he looked at me and asked, "So are we gonna do it, or what?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 272

You deserved it 11 587

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By wtfjusthappened - 24/01/2009 03:27 - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend from two years ago called and asked to come over. Still being in love with him, I agreed to see him but decided I wasn't drunk enough to handle the stress. After a while of drinking, he said that he really missed me and wanted to be with me. My reply consisted of throwing up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 700

You deserved it 31 838

Second chancer

By donotbelieveinsecondchances - 02/03/2015 14:04 - Netherlands - Capelle Aan Den Ijssel

Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 062

You deserved it 4 464

By 2ndchoice - 12/12/2009 15:47 - Belgium

Today, my boyfriend wanted to tell me how much he loves me. He said a lot of wonderful things, such as not being able to live without me and hoping that I would want to live with him and marry him someday. He ended his loving speech with his ex-girlfriend's name instead of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 028

You deserved it 2 948

By Anonymous - 28/09/2010 20:42 - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend asked how long he'd have to wait until he could ask out my best friend. We broke up yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 563

You deserved it 3 235

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 963

You deserved it 14 589

Off the top of my head…

By helplesslover - 04/10/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called and said he was stopping by to talk. I didn't understand why he would stop by, so I asked if he was going to break up with me, he said no. Half an hour later, he knocked on my door to break up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 136

You deserved it 5 753

By Crouching Tiger, Hidden Retard - 06/08/2013 21:55 - United States

Today, my apparently braindead and now ex-boyfriend asked me if "this period thing" is going to happen a lot, and said that if it is, "we're so done." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 335

You deserved it 4 857

By Anonymous - 15/10/2010 17:15 - Nepal

Today, I texted my ex boyfriend that I still loved him. He texted back asking if this was some sort of booty call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 589

You deserved it 33 774

By LukeSkywalker - 23/12/2011 16:38 - United States

Today, after pouring my heart out to my girlfriend of four years through a speech that took me three weeks to write, and then proposing, she responded, "Eh, why not." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 298

You deserved it 4 664

By Miki - 16/12/2012 23:57 - United States - Kenner

Today, after several years spent hung up on my ex, I was finally moving on. I was on a date with my new boyfriend when my ex walked past us. He broke down crying, got on his knees, and begged me to come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 645

You deserved it 4 042

Jessaly_fml 0

Monday 16 February 2009 20:28

... why do you love him, again?

jm88 0

Monday 16 February 2009 21:39

Yeah #8! Tell her how much you'd care for her more and she'd drop all her potentials for an FML stranger!

Comments

health133 0

Monday 20 September 2010 7:35

Straight to the point

B4SK3TB4IL 0

Sunday 26 September 2010 4:47

yeah, u gonna do him or what?

337294 0

Wednesday 29 September 2010 6:15

he is straight to the point and he knows he can get it if he wants

LexRB 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 22:07

your x bf is a asshole slap him

xJCx15 0

Monday 24 January 2011 5:21

Damn that suxs

partygril378 0

Friday 15 April 2011 17:25

ur so right and I respect that. u r a wise mofo!!!

rolling_in_the_d_fml 0

Friday 20 May 2011 20:44

Awww that's so nice :')

miss2kute31 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 15:01

Keep him your ex boyfriend. Its obvious he doesn't have any emotionally feelings towards you and he only wants one thing. DUH.

corocoro 30

Wednesday 14 August 2013 14:56

I can see why you broke up with him.

TheCerealKiller 24

Thursday 10 October 2013 7:32

Well, did you?

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Haircut Cute Miscellaneous Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Am I overreacting? Intimacy Sex Poopoo peepee Management Frustration Capitalism Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Technology Mental health

The Top

Today, I asked my son to keep my new girlfriend secret from his mom until our divorce was final, and he ran straight to her. She told the judge I was unfaithful and wants more money from our settlement. My son doesn't give a shit about snitching on me, because she's giving him a percentage of the new settlement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 1 842

Today, it is mine and my twin sister's birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me also pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 780

You deserved it 5 987

The Top

Today, my love life comes down to a choice in loneliness: I can either be alone, because I never meet anyone these days, let alone an interesting guy. Or, I can go back to my ex, who I left because he made me feel alone while sitting right next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 205

Today, my housemate blew chunks all over the freshly-painted walls in the bathroom. The paint was still wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 207

You deserved it 385

Today, I went out for a drink with my girlfriend. Everything was going smoothly until her phone rang, she took the call and cut whoever it was off quite quickly by saying, "I can't talk right now, I'm in the middle of a break-up." I certainly wasn't aware. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 898

You deserved it 2 149

Today, I went for a job interview. Before giving me a tour, the manager pointed to my purse and said, "Better leave that in my office." I didn't know why it was safer in her office than on my shoulder, but I complied. Later, I went to buy coffee and discovered that all my cash was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 804

You deserved it 3 982

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for not letting her keep the 75 cents that she stole from my truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 221

You deserved it 50 959

Today, I had a one-night stand. After holding in my farts all night, as you should, I decided enough was enough and tried to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out; instead I shat myself in her bed. I was naked at the time, so was unable to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 160

You deserved it 16 873

Missed you too

Same thing different taste

Second chancer

Off the top of my head…

Top comments

Comments