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By Jon - 07/06/2009 06:47 - United States

Spicy
Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages, she said, "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said, "But it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks 15 196
You deserved it 79 311

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Why would anyone open up to their mom about masturbation.

Nice. Maybe she thinks you meant texting feels good and every guy does it too? Right? Right? :/

Comments

HeyThereGorgeous 0

Dude how would she have known you were masterbating if you were outside the shower looking at your phone?!?!?

90% of women and men **********. And the rest lies :) #28 :D indeed

BnaLovesZsk25 0

I am 18 years old and have never masturbated. I have mo reason to lie considering I don't know any of you. never appealed to me. might be because my whole life my mom said it was a nasty thing to do. (my mom was molested at 14 so anything sexual is disgusting to her). so not everyone who say they don't do it is lying. my bf hates that I don't but I have no interest.

jncwmnd 0

lol #9..my stupid ex used to think like that...if i would spit it out he would yell at me, and sexually speaking, according to him he was only allowed to "finish" inside of anywhere because otherwise it is wasting it

crazydope14 0
heyyou1203 0

while masturbation is totally normal and healthy for both men and women, I do agree that it's not exactly something you discuss with your parents. Just like you wouldn't talk about you sex life with them. As for #7 or other ppl who say they don't, if they have a consistent b/f or g/f or **** buddy or w/e, maybe they get laid every day! so that waiting til their next sexcapade won't impede their "timing" so to speak.

krisFrAnHeehar 0

"ooo man here it comes AHHHHHH I LOVE THIS VIBRATE FUNCTION OOOO YEAH!!!!!!"

well sir, u could've acted like u WERE talking about texting. Maybe it feels good pressing the buttons..? but u made it a major fail. rofl.

dumbbbb 0

you would have never said that because you wouldn't assume she knew what you were doing in the bathroom..

damnthatsuck 0

Torn between ydi and FYL Ydi bc that was stupid Fyl bc you are obviously an idiot