Did something change? Last I knew, Canada had universal health care...op can be seen regardless of their ability to pay....idk if that excludes therapy for depression.

Hang in there, OP. It gets better, I promise. In the meantime, try to take positive baby steps. You can do it!

She was a bad choice your better off and also negativity attracts no one so just relax find something that makes you happy and share with others.

I left my ex under similar circumstances and I'm sure he said the same things you are. He always made me sound like a crappy person for leaving him but he would conveniently leave out how disrespectful, emotionally abusive and controlling he was. Lesson I learned is always take what somebody says about their ex with a grain of salt, it's rarely the whole story.

You may very well have lost all connection to the things that made you happy because of your unhealthy relationship. This will help you, give it time.

Realistically, were you going to reach out to form new connections and find other support when you already had a one-stop shop for all your emotional needs? Not saying she dumped you due to anything more than self-preservation but maybe she knew you'd only get the help you need if she wasn't there.

2 sides to every story, bittersweet. I'm not a therapist

It's better to be in no relationship than an unhealthy relationship where she wasn't happy. Try not to look at the negative side of things too much OP, step by step you'll pull yourself out of this rut.

Wow. Way to cut your legs right out from under you! Sorry it took you 5 years to find out that she's a heartless bitch that'll dump you at the first sign of trouble.

I'm gonna be hated here, You either shit or get of the pot, life is what You make it. Its not handed over, or spoon feed