Gross and Health: Mucus factory

Mucus factory

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I have a cold and need to blow my nose all the time. The problem is that every time I blow my nose, I get a nosebleed. When I breathe through my mouth, I have a coughing fit. So I have to choose between not breathing, coughing up mucus, or blowing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 852

You deserved it 3 145

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By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 409

You deserved it 932

Say it, don't spray it

By ... - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 925

You deserved it 2 301

Freak out

By zAstonish - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 262

You deserved it 4 197

Read the room

By Mortified concert-cougher - 29/04/2023 18:00

Today, I went to a concert. About halfway through, it went quiet at the start of a solo acoustic song. My allergies chose this time to react to some audience member’s strong perfume. I tried to hold back my coughing, but I couldn’t. I found myself interrupting the entire show with a loud drawn-out coughing fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 133

Watch out!

By FlyLikeABird - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I learned how birds feel when they fly into windows. I should be getting the hospital bill for my broken nose in the mail soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 904

You deserved it 4 448

I'm OK!

By MAC. - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 446

You deserved it 6 041

Satisfaction

By thacupcakeassassin - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Shippensburg

Today, I woke up from the most satisfying dream I've ever experienced. Sex related? Nah. I just needed two hands to pull a massive booger from my left nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 071

You deserved it 1 747

By Anonymous - 06/02/2016 01:34 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 439

You deserved it 2 181

David Lee Roth?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my band played for our school. We were cheered for and everything. Being the lead singer, I tried to look cool and push the mic away and pull it back by pushing down the bottom of the stand with my foot. It hit my face and I bled like crazy, but I kept singing. No one clapped at the end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 304

You deserved it 39 536

Boxing

By Holly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I had to wait in a hospital room because I cut myself with a knife while trying to open a box of soda. After three stitches, I went home only to notice the box has an easy-open tab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 519

You deserved it 32 194

kaijapapaya 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 18:56

Choose not breathing.

alwa7sh 2

Tuesday 18 January 2011 19:07

Add diarrhea and you have the perfect combination, something coming out of every hole :)

Comments

Proudmary 2

Tuesday 18 January 2011 19:57

Man, tussin-chan would be so jealous right now.

nicknesser 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 20:03

You know what's good as a cold remedy? Semen obviously.

tati3092 1

Tuesday 18 January 2011 20:11

haha suck it up ur sick that's what happens whn ur sick. not the nosebleed stuff but the other stuff haha

ImaginaryFoe 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 23:57

I always read your comments in the voice of SpeedRacer. Then the ubiquitous "haha" doesn't seem so bad.

Severn_fml 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 7:36

Oh god I just tried that and nearly shitted myself laughing. Thank you kindly for that.

nekros_fml 5

Tuesday 18 January 2011 20:29

if you want to clear your sinuses, seriously try a netti pot. it will clean out your sinuses and nose and allow your nose to heal. do it several times a day as needed. I <3 my Netti pot

orly33 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 20:37

Cough mucus.

rockell 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 21:04

try saline it will clear out all ur mucus & the nosebleeds will stop

ancora 1

Tuesday 18 January 2011 21:35

A humidifier might help some too. I don't know how common this practice is, but apparently some people have found relief from respiratory problems by mixing hydrogen peroxide in their humidifiers. That's something my grandfather used to do, and if you search for it on the internet you'll find out more information. Regardless of what you try, I hope you feel better soon.