Gross and Health: Mucus factory

Mucus factory

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I have a cold and need to blow my nose all the time. The problem is that every time I blow my nose, I get a nosebleed. When I breathe through my mouth, I have a coughing fit. So I have to choose between not breathing, coughing up mucus, or blowing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 852

You deserved it 3 145

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Same thing different taste

Right back!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 409

You deserved it 932

Say it, don't spray it

By ... - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 925

You deserved it 2 301

Freak out

By zAstonish - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 262

You deserved it 4 197

Read the room

By Mortified concert-cougher - 29/04/2023 18:00

Today, I went to a concert. About halfway through, it went quiet at the start of a solo acoustic song. My allergies chose this time to react to some audience member’s strong perfume. I tried to hold back my coughing, but I couldn’t. I found myself interrupting the entire show with a loud drawn-out coughing fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 133

Watch out!

By FlyLikeABird - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I learned how birds feel when they fly into windows. I should be getting the hospital bill for my broken nose in the mail soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 904

You deserved it 4 448

I'm OK!

By MAC. - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 446

You deserved it 6 041

Satisfaction

By thacupcakeassassin - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Shippensburg

Today, I woke up from the most satisfying dream I've ever experienced. Sex related? Nah. I just needed two hands to pull a massive booger from my left nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 071

You deserved it 1 747

By Anonymous - 06/02/2016 01:34 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 439

You deserved it 2 181

David Lee Roth?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my band played for our school. We were cheered for and everything. Being the lead singer, I tried to look cool and push the mic away and pull it back by pushing down the bottom of the stand with my foot. It hit my face and I bled like crazy, but I kept singing. No one clapped at the end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 304

You deserved it 39 536

Boxing

By Holly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I had to wait in a hospital room because I cut myself with a knife while trying to open a box of soda. After three stitches, I went home only to notice the box has an easy-open tab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 519

You deserved it 32 194

kaijapapaya 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 18:56

Choose not breathing.

alwa7sh 2

Tuesday 18 January 2011 19:07

Add diarrhea and you have the perfect combination, something coming out of every hole :)

Comments

kiakia0131 23

Tuesday 18 January 2011 19:08

Coughing up mucus DUH! Unless the blood is going down the back of your throat then I'd opt for the nose bleed.

Cutlesnap 4

Tuesday 18 January 2011 19:10

Choose blood! Choose blood! And leave it everywhere!

krystenreneex3 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 19:11

aww I'm sorry. I'm sick as well :(

mintcar 9

Tuesday 18 January 2011 19:12

Ugh, I hate having a cold. Mine seems to never go away. FYL.

talktomandybaby 8

Tuesday 18 January 2011 20:33

mine too!! i was sick this winter for over a month!!:(

Cutlesnap 4

Tuesday 18 January 2011 19:12

I feel obligated to inform you of the existence of urine.

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 18 January 2011 20:07

I have to assume you are referring to #11 (something coming out of every hole), and that this comment is misplaced. If so, your comment makes perfect sense. If my assumption is wrong, then you are one seriously disturbed individual.

happysmartg 5

Tuesday 18 January 2011 19:27

i'd choose coughing up mucus, you gotta get it out anyways. but get better!

perdix 29

Tuesday 18 January 2011 19:33

You ought to quit breathing -- you know what they say: "There will be plenty of time to breathe when you're dead." Oh, wait, or is that "sleep?" You might want to Google that before you take my advice.