Animals, Health, Sleep and Cute: My new best friend

My new best friend

By froggylicious - 16/08/2011 18:18 - Canada

Today, I woke up exhausted because a croaking frog had kept me awake the night before. This has happened every night for the past week, and no matter how far away I take the frog, it always ends up sitting in the same place the next morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 022

You deserved it 5 755

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Same thing different taste

Nature is so wonderful!

By Anonymous - 15/10/2019 18:03

Today, I was backpacking, and I was in a tent. It had rained all day and finally, I was dry. I settled down in my slightly damp sleeping bag. I woke up halfway through the night with a frog on my face and my feet in freezing cold water. Our tent had drifted into a frog pond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 611

You deserved it 433

By oops... - 19/06/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 346

You deserved it 20 060

By BSwan - 15/03/2011 00:57 - Australia

Today, a frog made my hot tub his new home. I can't stand frogs and he moves lightening fast. I think the only way to get rid of him is to turn the heat on and boil him. Which I would do if my daughter didn't already adore him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 930

You deserved it 11 381

Alas, poor Kermit

By traumatizedforlife - 05/08/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 425

You deserved it 6 804

Alas, poor Kermit

By W...T...F - 09/08/2013 16:15 - United States

Today, I found the carcass of the frog that got into my house last week. It was a horrifying sight, but not nearly as horrifying as the fact that I found it in my refrigerator. No, I don't know how it got in there either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 513

You deserved it 3 734

Human! I request petting!

By Anonymous - 07/11/2022 06:00

Today, my cat has made a habit of waking me and my husband up every morning by meowing in front of our bedroom door until we get up. This morning, I finally got her to stop, so I went back to bed hoping to sleep in for a while… Only to be kept awake by my husband’s snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 156

Leave me alone!

By Anonymous - 18/09/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom - York

Today, I got chased by a duck. Not just any duck, the same duck that has chased me every morning for a week. I’m starting to think it has a personal vendetta against me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 126

Sharing space

By Fingerfqmycupcake - 30/10/2024 08:00 - United States - West Chicago

Today, I woke up feeling crabby because of lack of sleep. I noticed what woke me up, it was man's best friend. He kept moving around and wouldn't stop rotating in circles to get comfy. I told him to lay down and he looked at me, did another circle and lowered down, butthole first on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 338

By adad - 01/02/2010 14:34 - France

Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 815

You deserved it 38 043

By Unknown - 30/06/2014 01:05 - United States

Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 917

You deserved it 7 213

Passion4Makeup 4

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:16

Easy. Kill the damn thing.

zah_ali 3

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:16

Just wait till he croaks it. Then you're golden! :D

Comments

thecovert 7

Wednesday 17 August 2011 3:05

Give it a ride to the kitchen! One way ticket ;-)

ur2nvthis85 3

Wednesday 17 August 2011 3:18

This is sort of cute you know lol he's just trying to sing you to sleep :) Have a heart OP, have a heart (or earplugs)

jasminecooper 0

Wednesday 17 August 2011 3:25

Well here's an idea...KILL IT! and stop complaining op!

cleolappost 0

Wednesday 17 August 2011 3:25

kill it

colly123 0

Wednesday 17 August 2011 3:31

just kill it? lol

jaq_d 0

Wednesday 17 August 2011 3:37

Sounds like a good chance for a game of frog baseball

BD_Swingin 0

Wednesday 17 August 2011 3:40

Ribbet.

tamie306 5

Wednesday 17 August 2011 3:41

kill it

portablecupid 3

Wednesday 17 August 2011 3:45

Your life is a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

31798 0

Wednesday 17 August 2011 3:46

time to bust out the 10 gauge an obliterate it.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 294

You deserved it 9 654

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 434

You deserved it 46 509

The Top

Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 805

You deserved it 2 140

Today, I got screamed at by a girl because I said I didn’t want to go on a date with her. I’m a gay man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 702

You deserved it 195

Today, it's my wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me look like The Joker. Make-up won't cover it and the emergency medicine my doctor gave me only irritates it more. My future husband asks, "Why so serious?" and laughs whenever he sees me. Fantastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 873

You deserved it 4 086

Today, after months of my (now ex) boyfriend telling me he wished I was blonde with big boobs, I finally retaliated with "I wish you were a redhead with a big dick, but you don't see me complaining." He cried and said I should love him for who he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 723

You deserved it 338

Today, by helping my sweet, caring boyfriend get over his crippling insecurities and develop some confidence, I've turned him into a lying, cheating asshole I can't stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 474

You deserved it 1 483

Today, I finally had a chance to get outside after receiving shrapnel to my leg. My crutches had not yet arrived so I didn't want to risk it, but my buddies said they had my back. We went to the seaside and I sat down as they say they'd be right back. It started to rain and everyone forgot me. I can stand, but not walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 048

You deserved it 580

My new best friend

Same thing different taste

Nature is so wonderful!

Alas, poor Kermit

Alas, poor Kermit

Human! I request petting!

Leave me alone!

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