Kids, Weird, Creepy, Babies and Love: Namesake - FML

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Namesake

By cjy152 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that my stalker ex-girlfriend named her newborn son after me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 303

You deserved it 3 676

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Top comments

HippoCampus 7

Wednesday 21 September 2011 19:37

Bitches be crazy.

marpay 11

Wednesday 21 September 2011 19:39

Hopefully she didn't name it after the father.

Comments

phybreawptic 13

Friday 20 August 2021 12:02

That kid is 10 years old now.

christian_slate 16

Saturday 21 August 2021 0:16

Who's stalking whom!?

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Dogs Messy Animals Cute Health Healthy Lifestyle Work Love Poopoo peepee Gambling Money Addiction Relatable Sex Annoying Intimacy Painful Garden Vacation Technology Miscellaneous Embarrassing Texting Social Media Parenting Kids Shopping Clothes Awkward Sleep

The Top

Today, I had an appointment to pull some wisdom teeth. I wrote the wrong time in my calendar. Showed up an hour late and they didn't pull the one tooth that actually hurts. Now I've got the pay for the time I was late, plus wait until November to pull the rest. I waited 5 months for this appointment due to the coronavirus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 1 363

Today, whilst having a bath, I sucked a cup and it stuck to my face, as I’m sure others have done, right? However, the genius I am sucked it too hard and for too long, and managed to give myself a love bite goatee. The next week at school is going to be fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 1 053

The Top

Today, after spending eight weeks making a life-size clay Cocker Spaniel in class. I left it in the middle of a large table in the empty art classroom, ready to paint, and went to the bathroom for a minute. I came back to see two young girls shiftily running out of said classroom, walked in and it was in shards on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 391

You deserved it 103

Today, I had to do 40 squats with a medicine ball. I always made fun of medicine balls my whole life because they looked so easy that even senior citizens did them. I passed out in the middle of the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 804

You deserved it 40 693

Today, I walked up to my friend and slapped her ass, because that’s what we always do. Turns out, it wasn’t my friend, it was a total stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 1 228

Today, I was going to have sex with a girl, but when I got my dick out she said, "You got a nice winky." Who the fuck calls a dick a winky unless they're in kindergarten? Felt like I brought home a toddler. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 172

Today, a customer attempted to buy 5 mini blenders from our Black Friday sale. Our policy is a max of 2 per customer. When I pointed this out, the customer had a meltdown, spat on me, and stormed off. I have to get up tomorrow at the buttcrack of dawn to deal with shit like this again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 98

Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 799

You deserved it 30 948