Injury and Intimacy: Nasty

Nasty

By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 11:24 - Australia

Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 524

You deserved it 5 891

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Same thing different taste

Traumatized knob

By Anonymous - 10/03/2015 19:11

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 005

You deserved it 4 617

By southernluxe - 04/09/2011 09:36 - United States

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 949

You deserved it 10 652

By JoshuasGirl - 23/12/2013 19:13 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 104

You deserved it 6 453

Frustrated wank

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 19:00

Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 305

By Rumpkis - 05/12/2011 01:30 - United States

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 971

You deserved it 18 672

By anonymous - 02/11/2015 03:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 314

You deserved it 7 527

She's electric

By nnniii - 16/11/2015 04:55 - United States - Seattle

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 487

You deserved it 5 317

Nosebleed

By bloody good time - 23/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and he slid his hand up near my face too fast and ended up clocking me in the nose. It is the first time that I have ever had nosebleed while orgasming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 195

You deserved it 253

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 01:32 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I ran a hand down my freshly shaven leg to appreciate the smoothness, only to come up with a hand covered in blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 588

You deserved it 5 551

Congrats

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 22:44 - Canada - Rosetown

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 822

You deserved it 8 593

AsainChick 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 15:56

You shoul probably get that checked out...

saIty 17

Tuesday 30 August 2011 15:58

That's when you know your pleaser is giving 120%.

Comments

Jodena 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 22:41

LOL oh wow, yeah depending on where you started bleeding I'd get that checked out bro. XD

MeB4u 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 22:43

A hard lesson learned. Friction is not your friend! Spit is.

ninja_chic6369 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 22:46

Usually when you have blood in your seamen it means you have been ejaculating way too much, i.e stop wackin it so much and u should be fine lol

floiedy 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 22:47

Hermaphrodite?

nitrose 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 22:51

Yu also had yur period da same day!

obrien813 6

Tuesday 30 August 2011 23:26

You always gotta get them to spit on it. Rookie mistake

obrien813 6

Tuesday 30 August 2011 23:26

You always gotta get them to spit on it. Rookie mistake

hrfaullin24 4

Tuesday 30 August 2011 23:30

she obviously doesn't know what she's doing.

Friaza 29

Tuesday 30 August 2011 23:35

That's the first and last time you'll ask Darth Vader to give you a force grab hand job OP. :D

coldsteele152 1

Tuesday 30 August 2011 23:49

Strong grip

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 116

Today, I finally met my dream woman: a smokin’ hot green-eyed petite redhead. Or so I thought. I met her online and “she” turned out to be a 22 year-old guy trolling me. The worst part is that I separated from my wife for this girl. She won’t take me back no matter how much I beg and plead. FML

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You deserved it 4 081

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 29 969

You deserved it 2 057

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I agree, your life sucks 32 747

You deserved it 5 060

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I agree, your life sucks 6 941

You deserved it 1 657

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I agree, your life sucks 4 701

You deserved it 405

Today, I thought that working as a lifeguard I would be saving lives, rescuing people and things along those lines. What do I get told to do on my first shift? Clean all the fecal matter and hair out the pool. I almost threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 989

You deserved it 1 689