Injury and Intimacy: Nasty - FML

Nasty

By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 11:24 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 533

You deserved it 5 893

St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! More…

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Same thing different taste

Traumatized knob

By Anonymous - 10/03/2015 19:11

Spicy

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 009

You deserved it 4 619

By southernluxe - 04/09/2011 09:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 958

You deserved it 10 655

By JoshuasGirl - 23/12/2013 19:13 - United States - Grand Rapids

Spicy

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 107

You deserved it 6 457

Frustrated wank

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 19:00

Spicy

Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 314

By Rumpkis - 05/12/2011 01:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 977

You deserved it 18 674

By anonymous - 02/11/2015 03:13 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 325

You deserved it 7 530

She's electric

By nnniii - 16/11/2015 04:55 - United States - Seattle

Spicy

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 501

You deserved it 5 324

Nosebleed

By bloody good time - 23/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and he slid his hand up near my face too fast and ended up clocking me in the nose. It is the first time that I have ever had nosebleed while orgasming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 198

You deserved it 255

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 01:32 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I ran a hand down my freshly shaven leg to appreciate the smoothness, only to come up with a hand covered in blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 589

You deserved it 5 552

Congrats

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 22:44 - Canada - Rosetown

Spicy

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 832

You deserved it 8 597

Next

Top comments

AsainChick 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 15:56

You shoul probably get that checked out...

saIty 17

Tuesday 30 August 2011 15:58

That's when you know your pleaser is giving 120%.

Comments

flufflybuttons 4

Tuesday 30 August 2011 20:33

hes right when i got my.first hj.she.poped it like you pop your fingers it feels really good

jobsman99 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 20:40

well just keep practicing. next work on the oral skills like licking her pussy and sucking you off. hope she wasn't giving you a handjob with your **** in her mouth.

Sl1mShad3y 10

Tuesday 30 August 2011 20:44

wow. FYL

jgduplante 9

Tuesday 30 August 2011 21:01

Umm what exactly was she doing wrong?!

devinewind 4

Tuesday 30 August 2011 21:21

for future reference if it hurts... stop before it bleeds. enjoy the scabbing over.

roobin302 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 21:28

**** it thuglife!!

maj28 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 21:29

ur doin it wrong

mojojojo91 6

Tuesday 30 August 2011 21:38

Who told you to use a cheese grater?

ducttapewallet 7

Tuesday 30 August 2011 21:39

Just like Charlie Sheen. Winning!

sassyone123 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 22:16

You should get that looked at by a doctor, or, if not, use anti- fungal cream from the chemist, best of luck!

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The Top

Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML

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I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 1 859

The Top

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You deserved it 191

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I agree, your life sucks 52 674

You deserved it 16 392

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I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 171

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I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 282

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I agree, your life sucks 35 975

You deserved it 3 957

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You deserved it 113