Animals and Intimacy: Nature is healing

Nature is healing

By squirrels69ing - 22/05/2011 01:00 - United States

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 034

You deserved it 6 284

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Oh hey how are you?

By Shelly - 13/06/2011 02:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 081

You deserved it 46 230

Psycho

By Anonymous - 12/10/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 610

You deserved it 4 233

Road rage

By notapetkiller - 26/07/2016 06:12 - United States - New Hyde Park

Today, while in the car with my mom, we accidentally ran over a dog who had sprinted into the road. Instead of stopping, my mom continued to drive as if nothing happened. Every time I tried to bring it up, she merely talked loudly over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 997

You deserved it 1 632

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 819

You deserved it 37 526

By Anonymous - 29/03/2013 17:13 - United States - Lakeland

Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 863

You deserved it 5 266

By Anonymous - 18/07/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 079

You deserved it 3 888

Make it stop, please

By Anonymous - 27/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 125

Cute

By eyesightfail - 21/11/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 485

You deserved it 15 522

Traumatized

By Anonymous - 09/09/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, for the first time ever, while I was driving I ran over a squirrel. It was in front of three little girls at their lemonade stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 677

You deserved it 5 901

By ZZ - 30/06/2009 03:01 - Canada

Today, I was riding my bike on the side of the road because there was no sidewalk. Then a car with a loud horn honked at me. Pissed off, I turned around and screamed "shut the fuck up!" It was my girlfriend's parents saying hi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 569

You deserved it 66 779

jewknowit710 2

Sunday 22 May 2011 9:19

some one is jealous that they arent getting any action... lol

aleclikestacos 8

Sunday 22 May 2011 9:19

you should have honked to save them from getting hit by another car and also to save you time.

Comments

Keyman1212 14

Sunday 22 May 2011 9:26

It is beautiful! Who's to say if one day maybe one of the offspring of that feverish exchange of bodily fluids changes the world?!

simply_improper 1

Sunday 22 May 2011 10:05

yeah, like a rabies outbreak

Grimmerie 31

Sunday 22 May 2011 11:37

squirrels aren't affected by rabies.

aardvarkish 16

Sunday 22 May 2011 14:14

Why is 69 getting thumbed down? That's correct. Rodents don't get rabies.

SkateJon 8

Sunday 22 May 2011 17:45

LOL

ReynshineCutting 10

Sunday 22 May 2011 19:03

No but they can be plague vectors. Dark Ages 2 anyone? Also, the CDC says squirrels can be rabid but it's just very rare.

flighted 1

Tuesday 24 May 2011 22:16

the CDC also warns us about zombie outbreaks

killa6698 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 9:28

So you guys stopped in the middle of the road to see two squirrels having sex for 5 minutes????

Keyman1212 14

Sunday 22 May 2011 9:54

No, that's EXACTLY what he just said in the FML.

mackop 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 19:20

glad you can read

cwmbear 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 9:29

Did they practice safe sex?

atomicbaboon 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 9:31

did you read the post? they were in the middle of the street. that's not safe at all. (unless they were wearing helmets.)

Divi324 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 9:46

Win

ceepevoy 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 9:58

no, they got the squaids!!!!!!!

joebahwbp 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 9:29

lol she has an animal fetish XP hahah

fireflames113 6

Monday 23 May 2011 5:10

who is "she"

cocobulla1 4

Sunday 22 May 2011 9:30

horny squirrels, that's funny

chuymac 3

Sunday 22 May 2011 9:32

live animal **** it's always fun to watch with your mum haha

cocobulla1 4

Sunday 22 May 2011 10:00

mother daughter bonding time! or mother son.... whatever

CryMoreFMLs 14

Sunday 22 May 2011 10:17

Wtf is wrong with you people?

fthku 13

Sunday 22 May 2011 16:02

I know, #50. Some people apparently developed a thing called "sense of humor", it's just awful. The current cure is apparently watching 2 squirrels having sex for 5 minutes.

WompWompWomp123 7

Sunday 22 May 2011 9:35

This would be even funnier if there were a whole line of cars behind you waiting to get by, and your mom is just there gazing at two squirrels *******.