Kids, Pregnancy and Parents: News to me

So, you are getting a new sibling, whom you will most likely be a huge role model for. And, your mom appears to have found someone to make her happy. I'm not seeing a real problem here. In fact, congratulations.

PhishloverA 14

Friday 28 September 2012 21:05

Wow what else is there she wants you to know? On the other hand, maybe she just wanted to surprise you

robox1187 9

Friday 28 September 2012 21:33

That's a snooki situation!

aribari373 5

Friday 28 September 2012 22:53

It's partly your fault. Why haven't you seen your mom in nine months???

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The Top

Today, my best friend of five years left cause I “followed them” and that made me depressed, then I couldn’t go outside or to class anymore cause I was too depressed, then my girlfriend, whom I was going to marry, left me because, you guessed it, I was too depressed. Now I’m in a mental hospital for trying to kill myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 189

Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 971

You deserved it 1 921

The Top

Today, at college, I asked the girl who usually sits next to me if she wanted to team up on our latest assignment. She gave me a disgusted look, said "Um, I'm MARRIED. Creep." and walked away. Seriously, what the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 155

You deserved it 1 506

Today, I touched my friends hard junk under my foot through his jeans as we played games on the couch. He didn't move away and kept jiggling my thighs playfully, so I didn't stop. When he left, I texted him I liked what I felt and got no response. I killed a 7 year friendship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 198

Today, I made a mistake at work that got seven people fired. I'm scared to leave the office because they're all outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 520

You deserved it 70 052

Today, I work at a medical practice with over 30,000 Patients. Due to staff sickness and vacations, we only have 50 appointments available. I work on the phones, taking appointments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 108

Today, I got the best grade in class on my economics midterm. Rather than tell me I did a good job, my professor criticized me in front of everyone about how I was working "too hard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 860

You deserved it 4 715

Today, I was accused of being a "racist whore" at work. I'd only asked a man if he needed help finding anything, as that is part of my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 596

You deserved it 171