Poopoo peepee, Toilet and Work: Nice to know

Nice to know

By justin bieber's nutsack - 06/06/2015 07:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said, "Never take a shit in this place. Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 259

You deserved it 2 803

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Same thing different taste

Not now, guys

By Sonofa - 17/05/2013 15:52 - Canada - Cold Lake

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 242

You deserved it 3 808

Bumbling

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I enjoyed a lovely shower together. It was indeed lovely until her father came into the washroom to say “Welcome to the family!” whilst taking a giant shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 649

You deserved it 591

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 970

You deserved it 7 926

By thanksmom - 09/01/2013 19:57 - United States - Tucson

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 646

You deserved it 7 791

Charming

By jay ze punk - 29/01/2013 19:56 - France - Metz-tessy

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 824

You deserved it 5 238

By lvegadelgado_6 - 10/08/2015 14:32 - United States - Deerfield

Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 556

You deserved it 2 140

By mandie - 13/11/2011 17:10 - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 460

You deserved it 2 539

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 295

You deserved it 7 527

By impatient amy - 27/01/2009 14:23 - Ireland

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 885

You deserved it 2 907

By jester777 - 22/01/2011 17:39 - United States

Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 549

You deserved it 49 422

devildog562 33

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:12

Everyone knows the feeling of bad toilet paper. Grandpa has the decency to tell the truth . Just in a crude way.

TrippingOnAcid 29

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:19

The girl doesn't even need to take a dump to experience the bad toilet paper. Grampa forgets that women always have to wipe down there

Comments

devildog562 33

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:12

Everyone knows the feeling of bad toilet paper. Grandpa has the decency to tell the truth . Just in a crude way.

Way2Fast8 20

Sunday 7 June 2015 5:58

All you gotta do is buy better toilet paper

slingerslasher 24

Sunday 7 June 2015 6:59

Hook me up with some of that 4-ply oh goddamn sweet jebus yes

CoGhostRider 31

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:14

1ply toilet paper smh poor grandpa.

False_Stupidity 41

Sunday 7 June 2015 1:22

1 ply from the dollar store... *shudders*

VeganDarkLight 31

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:14

So what?

DinosaurTacoTime 18

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:14

Must be Angel soft. For some reason it has become devil rough.....

StickyPickles 33

Sunday 7 June 2015 4:04

"Scotts" is rough my friend. . I personally prefer the great value brand. I suppose each arsehole to their own, or something like that

FitFriday 32

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:15

Your grandfather seems like he is quite the character

HUGBUG 23

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:16

Lol I know the feeling

joelp232 17

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:17

well thats just embarrassing

lambda_fml 40

Sunday 7 June 2015 6:35

You dont say.

HUGBUG 23

Tuesday 9 June 2015 12:47

No shit Sherlock

King_paradox 22

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:17

Savage.

mustangbravo 27

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:18

That must have been rough.

sirrubberducky 7

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:40

I'm new here FML community, but is this one of the acceptable puns?

shay_serendipity 29

Sunday 7 June 2015 2:56

Well, sirrubberducky, it depends on who you ask and what mood everyone here on FML is in. So far since it's still in positive upvotes, I'm assuming it's a generally acceptable pun, but not the best, in my opinion- sorry.