Poopoo peepee, Toilet and Work: Nice to know

Nice to know

By justin bieber's nutsack - 06/06/2015 07:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said, "Never take a shit in this place. Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 260

You deserved it 2 803

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Same thing different taste

Not now, guys

By Sonofa - 17/05/2013 15:52 - Canada - Cold Lake

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 244

You deserved it 3 808

Bumbling

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I enjoyed a lovely shower together. It was indeed lovely until her father came into the washroom to say “Welcome to the family!” whilst taking a giant shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 650

You deserved it 591

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 971

You deserved it 7 927

By thanksmom - 09/01/2013 19:57 - United States - Tucson

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 654

You deserved it 7 792

Charming

By jay ze punk - 29/01/2013 19:56 - France - Metz-tessy

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 825

You deserved it 5 239

By lvegadelgado_6 - 10/08/2015 14:32 - United States - Deerfield

Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 556

You deserved it 2 141

By mandie - 13/11/2011 17:10 - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 462

You deserved it 2 539

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 297

You deserved it 7 527

By impatient amy - 27/01/2009 14:23 - Ireland

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 886

You deserved it 2 907

By jester777 - 22/01/2011 17:39 - United States

Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 549

You deserved it 49 422

devildog562 33

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:12

Everyone knows the feeling of bad toilet paper. Grandpa has the decency to tell the truth . Just in a crude way.

TrippingOnAcid 29

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:19

The girl doesn't even need to take a dump to experience the bad toilet paper. Grampa forgets that women always have to wipe down there

Comments

itsme82 18

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:20

The thing about being older is you can say whatever you want. This is a prime example of that. Your grandpa is awesome!!

mistress_paz 30

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:22

Nice!

xluciferx666 21

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:26

Your grandpa is a hero I hate going into someone's bathroom doing my business and then using toilet paper that feels like I'm running a belt sander across my butthole

apaul982 14

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:28

Everyone knows that dead leaves are the things to use

feytensn 25

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:41

At least he gave her good advice

CaroAurelia 12

Sunday 7 June 2015 0:58

Eh, when my uncle took a girl home to meet his parents, my dad was walking around the house in his underwear. My uncle and that girl have been married about forty years. If your girlfriend can live through that and still want to be with you, that's a good sign. Consider this a test.

Lalala579121 27

Sunday 7 June 2015 4:40

If your significant other leaves you because of something minor your family did then they weren't worth it anyways.

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 7 June 2015 1:06

Love the name... Grandpa strikes again!

iseebearbears 27

Sunday 7 June 2015 1:07

Did he actually say arsehole?

False_Stupidity 41

Sunday 7 June 2015 1:30

The advice is good, no matter the delivery. Old people haven't got time to beat around the bush and they just tell it how it is.

beantownchivette 8

Sunday 7 June 2015 5:53

He might have. In the UK, arse is used fairly often

angelic_avenger 7

Sunday 7 June 2015 1:34

This just seems like an amazing opportunity. I feel like she could get in everyone's good books if she brought some Charmin over.

Zebediabolical 39

Sunday 7 June 2015 2:10

There's nothing worse than that puffy girl toilet paper. Sure, you're wiping your ass with a soft cloud, but a soft cloud doesn't get your ass clean on the first or second try. At least with the sandpaper you don't need to make a chore out of it.