Relationships, Embarrassing and Work: Nice try

Nice try

By damn... - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a job conference. At lunch, I saw this stunning guy. At dessert time, I coughed so much that the piece of chocolate cake in my mouth went straight onto his glasses. I think it's too late to introduce myself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 139

You deserved it 6 397

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Same thing different taste

Shit eating grin

By lame - 31/12/2009 05:02 - Canada

Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 405

You deserved it 22 013

Mouth malfunction

By Melanie - 08/02/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I locked eyes with a cute barista and tried to flirt by giving a charming smile. I forgot I had just taken a sip of hot chocolate, so I ended up drooling a long stream of chocolate down my chin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 499

By Kamburgler - 02/07/2011 06:33 - United States

Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 393

You deserved it 5 726

Hi-de-hi

By Droolgirl - 26/05/2009 01:25 - United States

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 257

You deserved it 46 584

By Noname - 23/01/2009 17:31 - United States

Today, at lunch, I told a bunch of people how I had been in love with this guy since freshman year. I made a bunch of jokes about how I was going to marry him and our kids would be so attractive. He was at the table next to mine and looked back at me as soon as I finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 158

You deserved it 18 370

Well, this is awkward

By Samantha - 29/03/2009 03:14 - Canada

Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 205

You deserved it 21 873

NEXT!

By Kristie - 03/07/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 177

By emselin - 18/09/2012 20:07 - Denmark - Niv

Today, someone brought cake to class. Trying to get some attention from the guy I have a crush on, I asked if he wanted my piece of cake. He accepted it, and then offered it to another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 698

You deserved it 5 026

Business casual

By Anonymous - 08/04/2013 08:30

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 264

You deserved it 5 592

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 23:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 121

You deserved it 6 356

louisianagrrrrl 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 0:13

you should have coughed into your napkin

DisturbedDriver 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 12:54

Haha, you can use an apology in private to introduce yourself?

Comments

crazygirl13_fml 0

Friday 10 July 2009 17:32

learn to spell ass

Avenging_Angel 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 12:15

Lmao I love the way you worded this (:

popoman 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 3:58

COVER YOUR MOUTH, you inconsiderate person. I put FML and YDI.

LemonMan 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 5:29

You could have covered your mouth you know? I say YDI, but FYL that can be really akward

coltsluvr123 2

Saturday 27 February 2010 14:47

woooowwwww. next time cover your mouth!!!!!!!!!

TJT 0

Sunday 25 April 2010 4:03

Hmmmm stunning guys dont have glasses

happy_animal_lov 0

Saturday 29 May 2010 15:33

it's called turn away from the table and cover your mouth

kykeon22 0

Wednesday 11 August 2010 10:28

oh, not at all, i think that this is a great opportunity to break the ice XD XD

smartalek 2

Tuesday 14 June 2011 20:12

well what a nice conversation starter! (:

ladybug_26 18

Tuesday 19 July 2011 17:05

haha, oh bummer xD

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Keywords

Work Coworkers Health Money Awkward Sex Intimacy Love Parents Cheating Family Engagement Proposal Miscellaneous Delivery Customers Coffee Painful Embarrassing Friends Relatable Weddings Gross Kids Shoes Scary Phobias Spiders Romantic TV shows

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 521

You deserved it 11 517

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 855

You deserved it 4 047

The Top

Today, my grandma is refusing to talk to me because I didn't answer her phone calls while we were at a parade. I was in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 884

You deserved it 2 061

Today, I received a notice that I'm being fined for failure to renew my Florida license. I've lived in Maryland for the last seven years and I've never had a Florida license. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 991

You deserved it 176

Today, I got roped into a volunteering thing at the last minute. I was waiting outside with all these kids who looked hungry. Feeling bad, I passed around crisps and cookies. Turns out we were at a convention to promote healthy eating in malnourished children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 601

You deserved it 6 132

Today, my housemate saw some stuff in the barn, thought I surely wouldn’t be using it, so he stacked lots of lawn furniture on top. The “stuff” in question? Bales of hay. As in, daily food for my horses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 100

Today, the best restaurant in our neighbourhood is owned by a husband and wife who scream at each other constantly. Everyone thinks it’s funny, so they have a lot of loyal customers. I took a date there but the screaming gave her flashbacks to her own parents, so she hyperventilated and fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 290

Today, for the first time since kindergarten, I won! I came first! Yes, I'm first on the waiting list for the M.A. degree I applied to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 51