Alcohol, Drunk, Gross and Work: Night on the tiles

Night on the tiles

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Ireland - Gorey

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 982

You deserved it 46 604

Halloween: Terror and Laughter
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Same thing different taste

By sickened - 25/08/2009 14:17 - Philippines

Today, my friends and I went out drinking, and luckily enough, the guy I have had a crush on for four years now was there. I tried to get drunk so that I can make a move and blame it on the alcohol. I went in to whisper my confession in his ear... only to puke on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 758

You deserved it 68 058

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 18:55 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 861

You deserved it 4 723

The morning after the night before

By college student - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Oxford

Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 053

You deserved it 9 379

Mommy's little helper

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Oakland

Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 727

You deserved it 39 009

Right back!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 405

You deserved it 931

This is a low

By Stella - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 357

You deserved it 28 784

Use the force

By BlueMacaw - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Lake Elsinore

Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 437

You deserved it 4 695

Running late

By SMV - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 249

You deserved it 6 095

I hate myself

By trixanne - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Sydney

Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 716

You deserved it 3 947

Bonzer 2

Saturday 21 July 2012 1:45

"Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work..." YDI.

DocBastard 38

Saturday 21 July 2012 2:43

First you misspell "definitely", then you use "sneek", and then you go with "snook"? Really?? That's...I just...you... Can I just slap you?

Comments

Tolarie 13

Saturday 21 July 2012 14:09

YDI... Also, learn to handle your liquor better.

Sanch101 7

Saturday 21 July 2012 14:27

How is something which is entirely your own fault and something you had complete control over happening an FML?

Zomg_Okay 26

Saturday 21 July 2012 15:06

Because it's ******* hilarious.

Sanch101 7

Sunday 22 July 2012 11:38

There is that but hardly a FML. More a DIM

Arrawyn 12

Saturday 21 July 2012 15:06

Ya, smart idea OP

metalwolf 17

Saturday 21 July 2012 17:13

Congrats, this is the only FML post I have ever clicked YDI on before even finishing the first sentence.

Jasonf6 0

Saturday 21 July 2012 17:34

Congratulations! You win the Fucktard of the Year Alcoholic award.

mr_brightside93 1

Saturday 21 July 2012 17:47

Hahaha that sounds ******* delicious!!!

alrightmylover 5

Saturday 21 July 2012 21:11

similar thing happened me. dying of a hangover today...such is life in Ireland :)

Exatonne 1

Saturday 21 July 2012 22:09

Lol at all the people on this site scorning posters for "irresponsible" acts. As if any of you have never fooled off or made a mistake before. Self righteous twats. Next time OP go with the voice in ur head telling u it's a bad idea

nela25 23

Saturday 21 July 2012 23:46

jajajajajaja #61 has the best comment

nevershoutkendal_fml 10

Sunday 22 July 2012 7:38

No, I believe it goes something like "hahaha". And if you like their comment, hit the reply button and reply to it. Or simply push the thumbs-up button.