Health: No Ragerts

No Ragerts

By "Sonofaquiche" - 07/05/2017 00:00

Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up in the hospital with a broken coccyx. Apparently, my drunk self came to the glorious conclusion that it would be a good idea to cannonball into a puddle while screaming "POOLPARTYYYY!" at the top of my lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 110

You deserved it 5 700

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Same thing different taste

By nosey - 08/04/2013 19:20 - United Kingdom - Mountain Ash

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 666

You deserved it 40 126

By hedayk - 15/05/2015 20:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 272

You deserved it 12 022

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 08:25

Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 567

You deserved it 11 405

By Caution - 02/10/2018 22:00

Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 198

You deserved it 589

By Anonymous - 28/08/2019 00:01 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 1 885

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 629

You deserved it 34 433

You played yourself

By anon - 25/03/2013 18:31 - United States

Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 117

You deserved it 68 661

Smashing awakening

By charapos - 06/02/2022 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by slamming my ankle into a glass bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 225

All over the place

By nemi - 31/08/2010 22:33 - Norway

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 671

You deserved it 8 843

Party hard

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I was playing beer pong at a party and managed to get the ball in a cup. I jumped a little bit in excitement and somehow managed to fracture my foot while doing so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 806

You deserved it 552

Druu 53

Thursday 4 May 2017 9:03

That's just silly. Everyone knows you're supposed to shout "CANNONBALL" when you perform a cannonball.

GhostFox 33

Wednesday 3 May 2017 18:53

There's no reason to get that drunk.

Comments

GhostFox 33

Wednesday 3 May 2017 18:53

There's no reason to get that drunk.

WeirdUS 29

Thursday 4 May 2017 6:49

You should cut back or stop drinking if you are doing things like that while drunk.

Druu 53

Thursday 4 May 2017 9:03

That's just silly. Everyone knows you're supposed to shout "CANNONBALL" when you perform a cannonball.

Emily Bogdonas 4

Sunday 7 May 2017 1:04

LOL don't listen to the haters thats awesome ??

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 7 May 2017 1:17

That's sad. Now you won't be able to have children. That's why always wear a cup -- to protect my coccyx and my tentacles.

ThrottleJockey 35

Monday 1 January 2018 22:38

I take it you got an anatomy lesson from Doc Bastard.

Regulate 21

Sunday 7 May 2017 2:13

Either this didn't happen or someone had to post this for you. No way someone that stupid could work out how to use a keyboard.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 7 May 2017 4:45

People who get this drunk don't get my sympathy.

Pixiewolfe 46

Sunday 7 May 2017 6:44

Being drunk has consequences. Having no children in the future is apparently one of them.

Talis99 26

Tuesday 9 May 2017 8:30

Do you not know what a coccyx is?

Lobby_Bee 17

Sunday 7 May 2017 10:34

That's why you don't go half drunk, you always go full drunk and just pass out. That way you can't hurt yourself doing dumb drunk shit.

Rebecca Stockert 16

Sunday 7 May 2017 19:19

everyone is aware that a coccyx is a tailbone right..? im confused at how having children came into play.. sorry op tough break

Marlon4136 4

Saturday 5 August 2017 4:17

I think everyone is kidding. The first person to post something about not being able to have children made a reference to coccyx and tentacles (instead of testicles).