Animals, Dogs and Cute: Nom nom nom

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Nom nom nom

By Fern - 06/01/2025 00:00 - Germany

Today, I used a new body wash that smells like vanilla cookies. My dog spent the entire day chasing me around and trying to lick my arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 164

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Same thing different taste

Stinky

By mickymoose1 - 19/07/2020 02:02

Today, my dog decided to play with a skunk. Today is also the day I figured out that no matter how much you wash everything that's come in contact with the smell, it will never go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 353

You deserved it 153

It's a doggy dog world

By Anonymous - 31/10/2019 02:00

Today, I was bathing my dog at a self-serve dog wash at a pet store. The person next to me decided to express his dog's anal glands, and the vile, greasy, fish-smelling liquid hit me on the side of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 308

You deserved it 168

Sneaky boy

By anonymous - 15/12/2015 06:00 - United States - Huffman

Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 997

You deserved it 3 882

Tasty treat

By Rayleigh - 02/11/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I was excited to try my new skincare mask. My dog apparently thought I had turned into some kind of monster and barked hysterically for twenty minutes before lunging at my face and licking it off. So much for self-care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 145

Tasty snack

By Anonymous - 16/07/2023 11:00 - United States - Chesterfield

Today, I showered with my favorite soaps, and I used my favorite perfumes and lotions too. I layered my scents to get a nice fruity, girly scent, which helps boosts my confidence. My husband walked in the bedroom when I was done and said that it smelled like cheesy garlic bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 441

By Username - 02/08/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 481

You deserved it 5 309

By anonymous - 21/10/2013 06:53 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 312

You deserved it 7 211

Pantie thief

By Anonymous - 22/11/2022 12:00 - Australia

Today, I got home to find a pair of my dirty underwear (that were in the dirty clothes basket) in the middle of the living room. I must be delicious, because my dog was licking them. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 219

By honeybunny90 - 28/12/2013 08:23 - United States - Richmond

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 517

You deserved it 5 888

Good boy

By Anonymous - 06/10/2023 19:30 - Canada

Today, I took my dog to the park. It had recently rained, and he started rolling in something unidentifiable. When I got home, I discovered it was a mixture of mud and who knows what else. Now my house smells like a swamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 274

GoogieWithers 23

Monday 6 January 2025 13:24

I need to know, too. I need more dog friends.

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The Top

Today, my dad invited me to a bar that turned out to be a brothel, because “it’s pathetic that I’m still a virgin and it’s past time I just get it over with.” I’m not a virgin, I’ve just never been with a woman because I’m gay and still haven’t told my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 195

Today, I made the mistake of showing an interest as my boyfriend was playing the new Assassin's Creed. Now I like that he enjoys gaming, but I was not expecting to be given a crash course in Assassin's Creed lore and history all the way back to the first game. It lasted ages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 365

The Top

Today, our school had tryouts for chorus. Everybody sang a snippet of the song together until the teacher stopped us, saying it sounded awful. He singled me out and told me to sing alone. After I sang the part, he said, "Son, your gift to God will be silence." FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 781

You deserved it 7 777

Today, my ex sent me a string of abusive texts about forgetting our daughter's birthday. I have no idea when her birthday is because she left me while pregnant and never told me the date, plus she is 3 and I’ve never met her because the police can’t find where they live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 065

You deserved it 142

Today, I went through a drive-thru and ordered a milkshake. When the cashier handed it to me, for some unknown reason I confidently grabbed the lid instead of the cup. Guess who’s now wearing the milkshake? FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 447

Today, my dad tried to get me to change my resume. Here's the fun part: I took resume classes and had a career coach help me make it. Even knowing all that, he still insisted I change the entire thing. A perfectly fine professional resume into one that resembles a Word resume template. I just want to scream right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 171

Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around when her dad burst in, proclaimed an, “Aha! I caught you you pervert!” moment and threw me out of the house. We’re in our 30s with kids, and jointly own that house. Having a father in law with Alzheimer's is great isn’t it? Just fecking great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 143

Today, it's been two years since my fiancé proposed, drunk, and with no ring. Recently, I overheard him on a Zoom call with a work colleague who'd not talked to him since he was with his last girlfriend, who was much more attractive than I am. The colleague asked if they were still together and he lied and said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 124

Same thing different taste

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