Sex, Weird and Intimacy: Non sequitur - FML

Non sequitur

By lisacasabonita - 12/11/2010 16:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 213

You deserved it 42 493

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/04/2010 20:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 677

You deserved it 9 735

By not impressed - 09/10/2015 18:27 - Canada - Nanaimo

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 326

You deserved it 4 606

You what?

By charliesangel123 - 21/02/2010 17:16 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 499

You deserved it 3 716

What what?

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 16:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 1 452

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 11:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 679

You deserved it 13 291

Is it true?

By analgirl - 09/11/2014 13:31 - France - Paris

Spicy

Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend asked me out is because he thought I "looked like a girl who'd be into anal". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 142

You deserved it 4 411

By Picaresque - 26/02/2009 17:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285 923

You deserved it 68 184

The best method!

By Anonymous - 04/01/2020 18:00

Spicy

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 978

You deserved it 951

Nice try, chief

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 975

You deserved it 15 185

By KaiyaOtaku1 - 14/07/2014 23:48 - United States - Seattle

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 873

You deserved it 6 655

Next

Top comments

mike3775 35

Friday 12 November 2010 19:02

Nice to see you have a good relationship and can talk things out in a civilized manner Seriously though, this was hilarious on his part I'm sure he was joking like I do with my wife when she nitpicks me

Mpsteve13 7

Friday 12 November 2010 19:01

boyfriend ftw

Comments

TheEpicPies 15

Sunday 25 December 2011 4:50

That's a good topic to talk about.

Kostys 4

Sunday 8 January 2012 12:05

Well, dump him. Having anal sex is against a female's rights. I'm a male, I'm straight but I respect that. He should to.

SkoomaKi 27

Tuesday 22 May 2012 21:32

Just being honest.

DarthVader77 9

Sunday 16 December 2012 17:22

Sounds like a fair trade to me :). You both should at least try

schnips 10

Friday 3 January 2014 2:33

Ugh. My boyfriend loves anal but I hate it. I just put up with it really.

FreelancerCA 5

Saturday 6 September 2014 22:27

Haha

AlbinoMoose987 14

Sunday 24 July 2016 19:14

Make a deal with him, for 10 pieces of sushi (your choice) he gets to try anal with you xD

fantastamazing 10

Monday 13 March 2017 1:27

Best. Response. Ever.

wrenavery90 12

Sunday 26 June 2022 1:31

Your boyfriend is an ass. Try putting a ***** up his ass and see if he likes it.

Keywords

Gross Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Parents Kids Mental health Scary Creepy Miscellaneous Cold weather Embarrassing Dating Tinder Love Work Cute Transportation Awkward Cops Sports Crush Education Teachers AITA Mother in law Public freakouts Weddings

The Top

Today, my fiancé and I had a fight because he wouldn't let me get what I wanted to eat, even though it was my money. He said, "It's way too many calories. I'm supposed to help you lose weight." When I pointed out that I had given up a month ago, he looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can tell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 881

You deserved it 49 741

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 311

You deserved it 38 271

The Top

Today, I was sitting at my college campus; there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 565

You deserved it 63 596

Today, my friend and I were getting picked up by his dad after a carnival. As I put my stuff in the back of the car and shut the door to walk around to get in the other side, his dad drove off, thinking I was in the car, leaving me to walk up their hill. It was midnight and I ended up lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 826

You deserved it 2 285

Today, an email appeared in my inbox saying that the final this week that was supposed to be on Saturday has been moved forward to Thursday. It’s Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 208

You deserved it 176

Today, I learned that when your gas nozzle does not automatically stop by itself the way it's supposed to, they will continue to charge your credit card as the gas overflows out of your tank until someone notices and yells, "Turn the gas off!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 344

You deserved it 52 408

Today, after buying some groceries, I walked back to my car. After trying several times to get in the door, I finally look up and see a terrified little boy holding onto his teacup poodle for dear life, frantically waving me away. My car was two spots over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 920

You deserved it 28 595

Today, I was at work, finishing a presentation for my boss. Five minutes after I presented it to him, his boss walked in and asked for the same presentation I had just given. My boss presented it. His boss then turned to me and asked me, "What use are you around here?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 742

You deserved it 2 877