Sex, Weird and Intimacy: Non sequitur - FML

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Non sequitur

By lisacasabonita - 12/11/2010 16:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 223

You deserved it 42 505

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/04/2010 20:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 680

You deserved it 9 738

By not impressed - 09/10/2015 18:27 - Canada - Nanaimo

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 334

You deserved it 4 609

You what?

By charliesangel123 - 21/02/2010 17:16 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 525

You deserved it 3 724

What what?

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 16:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 1 469

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 11:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 686

You deserved it 13 296

Is it true?

By analgirl - 09/11/2014 13:31 - France - Paris

Spicy

Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend asked me out is because he thought I "looked like a girl who'd be into anal". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 150

You deserved it 4 413

By Picaresque - 26/02/2009 17:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285 967

You deserved it 68 210

The best method!

By Anonymous - 04/01/2020 18:00

Spicy

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 988

You deserved it 955

Nice try, chief

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 985

You deserved it 15 191

By KaiyaOtaku1 - 14/07/2014 23:48 - United States - Seattle

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 878

You deserved it 6 660

Next

Top comments

mike3775 35

Friday 12 November 2010 19:02

Nice to see you have a good relationship and can talk things out in a civilized manner Seriously though, this was hilarious on his part I'm sure he was joking like I do with my wife when she nitpicks me

Mpsteve13 7

Friday 12 November 2010 19:01

boyfriend ftw

Comments

Ochiba 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 3:33

Lol! Fantastic

iSpasticFantasti 14

Sunday 14 November 2010 5:11

Yes? :P

sonic_boom 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 6:24

why doesent he just use alot of lube and claim that he slipped? :):):):)

lactosefree1 8

Sunday 14 November 2010 6:34

ur bf is gay!

Twitch304 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 7:56

damn ahahaha. that's how we Oregonians are xD

Mittle 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 14:45

Anal is good. wished my gf liked it aswell haha

suckmysarcasm 10

Monday 15 November 2010 0:16

how bout a compromise of him eating sushi and knocking on your backdoor?

Fall3nAngel 22

Monday 15 November 2010 8:16

ahahaha!! xD PWNED!!!

FeVerTaKeR7 0

Monday 15 November 2010 9:04

Haha, judging from this chicks reply, she clearly doesn't think it's gross :D that's awesom

FeVerTaKeR7 0

Monday 15 November 2010 12:18

WIN!!!!!!

sohomomo 2

Monday 15 November 2010 15:19

PWND!!

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The Top

Today, we were so desperate to be parents, we've had IVF twice until our son was born. I was not ready for just how much I would hate him. I physically detest my son. I didn’t want to hold him when he was born, he makes my skin crawl when I breastfeed and I barely look at him. Messed up, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 219

You deserved it 635

Today, I discovered that you can vomit hard enough to break a rib and tear a ligament. Why was I barfing so violently? The stray cat I'm feeding has given me worms. I found one during "down there cleanup" time. I got laughed at by EMS, nurses, doctors, and my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 620

You deserved it 546

The Top

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 311

You deserved it 2 125

Today, I went to the mall and couldn't find a parking spot. After circling around for 20 minutes, I finally saw a shaded spot in the uncovered parking lot area under a tree. It turns out, I parked under a coconut tree. I could tell from the coconut planted into my hood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 914

You deserved it 9 691

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 341

You deserved it 4 237

Today, I woke up feeling amazing. Upon looking at my phone, I saw a text from my boyfriend's ex, saying, "I'm sorry." Ten minutes later, I received a slew of angry text messages from my boyfriend, thanks to his ex. What an amazing day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 689

You deserved it 270

Today, I skipped out on my grandmother's 70th birthday party. I'm autistic, and I have a hearing disorder that significantly enhances my hearing to a painful extent, so I couldn't tolerate how noisy it was. Now, my grandmother thinks I hate her because I put my mental health first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 265

You deserved it 273

Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying how I hated my job, I felt trapped, and that I was wasting my time working there. A few minutes later, she answered, "That's how I feel about our relationship." FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 751

You deserved it 7 937