Love: Normal

Normal

By Misunderstood - 08/02/2009 05:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a few notes from this girl I've liked at school for about two years, telling me she feels the same way. My dad knocked on the door and I panicked and said, "Hold on!" I shoved them under my pillow, then told him to come in. He said, "Son, it's perfectly normal to masturbate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 166

You deserved it 11 646

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Same thing different taste

By jack s.b. - 14/11/2013 22:15 - United States - Austin

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 063

You deserved it 16 430

By Cynical - 30/03/2009 03:49 - United States

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 208

You deserved it 37 101

Quick thinking

By me. - 29/10/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 046

You deserved it 35 395

Cool off

By chumleevil - 08/07/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air-conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked past my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 262

You deserved it 3 504

At least it wasn't rotting coconut?

By Getmeoutofhere - 10/08/2017 17:15 - Australia

Today, I was masturbating when my dad came into my room to say goodnight. He leaned down over my bed, paused, and said, "What's that smell? It's like... oh." His face dropped and he left the room. I don't think he'll ever see me the same way again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 554

You deserved it 1 155

Home alone

By Anonymous - 15/11/2021 17:00

Today, I was in the bathroom taking a massive dump, with the door closed, moaning and yelling to get it out, knowing I was home alone. When it was done, I walked out to see my mother on the couch, who said, "I know masturbation is normal, but please try to do it while we're not here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 1 388

Didn't see you there

By eatmyshipoopie - 18/12/2009 15:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 665

You deserved it 10 159

No feeling - Just conversation

By Anonymous - 22/11/2019 18:00

Today, I was touching myself under the sheets at 2:00 a.m. when my very drunk dad walked into the room. I was afraid to move my hand for fear of getting caught red-handed, so I had a 30 minute conversation with him with my fingers still inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 464

You deserved it 923

By Anonymous - 22/07/2017 05:29 - United States - Irving

Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 178

You deserved it 1 278

Lock your doors

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 475

You deserved it 764

jkqd 1

Monday 9 February 2009 1:59

Apparently a lot of people can't imagine how embarrassed you might be as a child/teenager just realizing you're going to be starting a relationship with someone you've secretly been in love with. Even if you weren't super embarrassed, who would respond to a sudden knock at this moment of epiphany by saying, "Come on in, Dad, this girl who've I've been obsessing over for two years finally loves me back, here read all the notes she just gave me talking about it in intimate detail"? Please.

NorfolkDude 2

Sunday 8 February 2009 23:40

I'm confused... why would you hide them? Were the letters somehow sexual in nature? In anycase, it was your fault for hiding things that weren't supposed to be hidden in the first place.

Comments

brandolio1215 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 3:58

this isnt bad, now you can do it whenever you want!

amatayo 0

Friday 12 June 2009 7:36

Um sure why not post crap on fml just to waste time. And if u can't handle reading mail im sure you can't handle the stress from the ladies

IAmAscammer 0

Sunday 4 April 2010 20:57

fking ******

austinocappucino 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 20:30

THAT was uncalled for

JrRacer4007 0

Friday 12 August 2011 9:40

REALLY UN-******* CALLED FOR!! WHAT THE **** NUMB NUTS??? (tee hee)

easylazy 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 0:31

You should've of just said, "Yeah, now get the **** away my vibrator is on low battery"

swhockey02 0

Sunday 18 July 2010 15:48

it's a guy

jdawg777 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 19:44

Haha

Brouhaha_fml 0

Tuesday 1 December 2009 22:33

wow, your life is so ****** up because the girl you like likes you back, and that unlike most people your parents actually don't mind if you **********