Work: Nostradamus

Nostradamus

By johnnyfuckfacer - 18/10/2012 19:40 - Canada - Concord

Today, I walked into work, after having given my boss a weather prediction last week, so he could decide on which day to open a new company division. I was immediately taken aside and written up for "providing false information, adversely impacting morale". FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 037

You deserved it 2 280

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Same thing different taste

By KnightToucan - 21/06/2019 02:09

Today, I got written up at work over false accusations that I didn't do some safety tasks. The same tasks that were done before I had even arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 602

You deserved it 142

By hatemyjob - 27/10/2009 04:04 - United States

Today, I arrived at work and was immediately given a disciplinary write-up for being two hours late for my shift. Apparently the manager had changed my schedule that morning and failed to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 344

You deserved it 2 074

But…

By I hate my job - 23/12/2014 08:14 - Canada - Delta

Today, I went to my retail job to buy some clothing. As soon as I walked through the doors, my manager yelled at me for not being in appropriate work clothes. I tried to explain that I was off the clock but he was having none of it. I got written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 359

You deserved it 3 109

The blame game

By unemployed - 20/04/2013 00:16 - El Salvador - San Salvador

Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 922

You deserved it 3 385

By hanmart - 15/11/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 455

You deserved it 2 641

Snitched

By sixxie - 29/01/2010 05:10 - United States

Today, I went in to work and was handed a write-up for having lied about being sick in order to leave early yesterday. Apparently, a co-worker saw me leave the parking lot, then immediately pull into the shopping center next door. I was going to Walgreens for cold medicine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 096

You deserved it 2 333

By robert - 31/01/2012 00:20 - United States

Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 469

You deserved it 4 222

By jalisc512 - 21/08/2014 20:16 - United States - Aurora

Today, my boss threatened to write me up, after I made a slightly rude joke about a coworker everyone hates. A while later, a colleague told me the same joke. Turns out my boss had gone around telling it to everyone else and taking all the credit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 444

You deserved it 5 524

By his word vs mine = me suspended - 10/08/2013 18:41 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 068

You deserved it 3 096

By Miss_Kat - 29/08/2019 00:01

Today, I received a two-page letter/rant from my boss notifying me of my imminent dismissal, based on issues such as me "speaking in a suppressed voice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 137

Major_Whupass 3

Friday 19 October 2012 2:21

How's the weather Ollie? It's raining sideways!

lilhellian 26

Friday 19 October 2012 2:45

congress

Comments

neurodoc 1

Friday 19 October 2012 3:16

You had better odds of getting it right by tossing a coin than trusting a met report.

whiteboy896 9

Friday 19 October 2012 3:25

Lol whata douche, nice name though op. :)

TrailblazerSS 5

Friday 19 October 2012 3:48

Well you deserved it because you can obviously control the weather!! NOT. Your boss jerk.

doglover100 28

Friday 19 October 2012 3:57

He is stupid.

kelseyycakes 2

Friday 19 October 2012 4:23

The only time your boss would be right is, of course, if you were a meteorologist. But you're probably not. So he is a dick.

PipingMouse 14

Friday 19 October 2012 4:33

Tell your boss to go outside, and see how the weather is. Then tell HIM to predict the weather for tomorrow.

sweetsammiedee21 6

Friday 19 October 2012 5:10

dajojonater 3

Friday 19 October 2012 5:10

Dont be a weatherman. Let them take the shit. But that sucks

sugarshane007 20

Friday 19 October 2012 5:46

Even with your horrible weather prediction, you probably were still more accurate than the local weather forecast.

Garulf 7

Friday 19 October 2012 6:50

hmm, i moderated something like this yesterday, but then it was a construction company and impacting productivity...

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The Top

Today, my husband came home from the hospital after having 6 gangrenous toes amputated because he hasn't been treating his diabetes properly. Not half an hour after he got home, I caught him sneaking sweets from a hiding place in his toolbox. He's already lost the bag with his medication in it. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 598

You deserved it 349

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I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 18

The Top

Today, I was at a diner with friends when we decided to put our phones in the middle of the table on the basis that whoever looks at theirs first has to pay. It was going well, until someone rushed up behind me, slammed my face into the table and ran out with our 4 phones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 867

You deserved it 5 848

Today, I was once again handed a document to translate, along with the comment, "Good luck, it doesn't make sense to begin with." If my translation doesn't, though, I won't get paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 445

You deserved it 3 084

Today, after all of the business cards for the car dealership that I work for were printed, the phone number was wrong, and the lady got so pissed about getting so many calls that she told them that they had won a free car. I had to tell dozens of ecstatic customers that they hadn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 707

You deserved it 6 023

Today, with my relationship in shambles, I reached out to my cousin who has been separated for a year. I asked her if she had any regrets, she said, “I wish I’d done what he said and sucked off his friend.” My spending issues now seems manageable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 184

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend. He said it was because he lives two hours away, but I think the ultrasound photos his other girlfriend posted proudly on his Facebook wall are the real reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 373

You deserved it 4 456

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 562

You deserved it 38 109