Awkward, Religion, Party and Love: Not a great start - FML

Not a great start

By Durrrrrr - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I went to a "party" with the boy whom I'm interested in. It was the first time I met his friends. Turns out he and all his friends are hardcore Christians who don't drink and are celibate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 728

You deserved it 11 958

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Top comments

macfluffers 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 5:50

...I'm so confused. You seem disappointed! As if you believe that alcohol and sex are what make a person interesting or something like that. If that's what you wanted, then you should have just bought a ***** and a six-pack.

zarco51 0

Friday 20 February 2009 6:57

whats wrong with not drinking?

Comments

Eloise92 3

Friday 9 June 2017 0:25

woah, didn't realize how badly I was necroposting. that's what I get for using the random button and not checking dates.

Keywords

Healthy Lifestyle Poopoo peepee Gross Health Work Christmas Ironic Gamers Holidays Video games Public freakouts AITA Gifts Am I overreacting? Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Racism Toxic Family Friends Drunk Coworkers Furniture Intimacy Sex Parents Lonely Relatable Kids

The Top

Today, I celebrated my friend's birthday. While everyone was completely wasted, a couple of friends suggested that I throw a pie in the birthday boy's face. Only seconds after doing so did I realize that the centre of the pie had still been burning hot when he screamed in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 672

You deserved it 12 284

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 034

You deserved it 4 225

The Top

Today, a person I've never met called me a whore and spat on me. Why? Because I was babysitting for my neighbors and answered the door for two well dressed women passing out religious pamphlets. I politely declined to take any. Apparently being a 15 year-old girl caring for a toddler makes me a sex worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 84

Today, I got on a crowded bus and was forced to stand. The bus made a sharp turn, so I reached for a pole to hold onto. Without looking, I grabbed the pole. It was wet and moist, but I nonetheless held on until the turn was done. I turned to see I had also grabbed a large man's nose and had squeezed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 273

You deserved it 896

Today, I wrote a long, loving and emotional Christmas letter to my girlfriend, leaving it for her to read when she woke up. Halfway through the day, I received a text stating that she saw my "breakup letter" and threw out all my stuff. I can't even contact her now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 110

You deserved it 476

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 708

You deserved it 14 969

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 859

You deserved it 3 576

Today, I've been chronically constipated so long that I was actually grateful for the sudden blast of diarrhea that ruined my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 517

You deserved it 869