Anxiety, Cars, Mugging and Health: Oh lawd, he comin'

FML for mobile
Free

Oh lawd, he comin'

By logkitty - 10/04/2012 04:35 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was sitting in my car outside my apartment complex when a man came around the corner holding something shiny, and I thought was a gun. Thinking I was about to get robbed at gunpoint, I bugged out and threw up. It was a silver watering can. He asked if I was okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 597

You deserved it 12 856

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By parkinglotslayer - 11/06/2009 02:28 - United States

Today, my family and I were parking downtown when my sister yelled to watch out for a man approaching our car. I see him pull something from his pocket. I yell "It's a knife, don't roll down the window!" It was a pen, he was the parking attendant and the window was already rolled down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 006

You deserved it 47 750

Freakout

By ParanoidFreak - 31/12/2009 09:31 - United States

Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 945

You deserved it 40 263

By Anonymous - 25/11/2014 20:15 - United States

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 955

You deserved it 3 143

Freaked out

By CriminalMistake - 04/05/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I was leaving a campus parking garage. Suddenly, a huge man appeared behind me and kept saying "HEY!" "STOP!" In a gruff voice. I picked up my pace and so did he. I finally turned to him with a can of mace and threatened to use it. He was trying to return the $5 bill I dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 673

You deserved it 63 221

By anonymous - 20/12/2010 11:23

Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 125

You deserved it 3 272

By JustWashedTheseJeans - 25/10/2016 01:05

Today, I pissed my pants in fear for the first time. Was I at a spooky haunted house? Nope, I turned a corner and got startled by a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 202

You deserved it 1 933

Bystander

By Chops - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking from my office to the place I had parked my car, a distance of approximately three blocks. As I was about to round the last corner, I was forced to dive out of the way of a speeding car. When I looked up, I noticed that it was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 343

You deserved it 4 535

Community policing

By phant776 - 13/05/2011 04:02 - United States

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He asked for my license and registration, so I reached for my center console. I was then greeted with a gun to my ear because my coffee cup supposedly looked like a gun. I stepped out of my car to apologize, and I was hit with a big stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 453

You deserved it 9 318

By lamed - 04/12/2009 22:01 - United States

Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 223

You deserved it 14 791

HEY YOU

By stabbed with kindness - 02/03/2013 21:44 - Russian Federation - Elektrostal

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 542

You deserved it 45 221

poindextrr 2

Tuesday 10 April 2012 11:44

sounds like you live in the ideal neighbourhood!!!

Techtacular 0

Tuesday 10 April 2012 12:17

Now if that was really a gun, is your defense still puking?

Comments

recklesslove19 3

Tuesday 10 April 2012 20:13

you need to get out of the house more often... wow.

KiddNYC1O 20

Tuesday 10 April 2012 20:24

Reminds me of when I was at the park with my friend years ago. Some man kept getting close to us when I noticed he had his hand under his shirt as he were holding a gun. That's when I whispered to my friend that I think he has a gun, run! I never ran so fast...

calicocaper 2

Tuesday 10 April 2012 21:46

U smoke pot?

thefuckinloser 6

Tuesday 10 April 2012 22:32

paranoia will destroy ya

AYsalchicha 3

Tuesday 10 April 2012 22:54

Better question... Who says "bugged out" anymore?

glitterme 5

Wednesday 11 April 2012 1:49

I couldn't help think it was a ice tea can R.I.P buddy

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Wednesday 11 April 2012 2:20

Well, California DOES have a high crime rate. But still, how far away were you that the water can looked like a gun? I guess both have a long object (barrel and spout) and obviously both can be silver, but...yeah. Hard to say which one to vote for her. No wonder the votes are so close.