Health, Gross and Work: On the scene

On the scene

By fire1 - 25/10/2011 04:30 - United States

Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 317

You deserved it 2 327

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Same thing different taste

By Kybo5 - 08/02/2013 05:45 - United States - Elk Grove

Today, I had a ride along in an ambulance. Being observant, I thought it was funny that a patient had to vomit. That was until I realized they couldn't control where they had to vomit. I spent the rest of the ambulance ride holding a vomit bag in front of the woman's face. Not so funny anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 892

You deserved it 56 230

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 02:24 - United States

Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 767

You deserved it 2 494

By Vomit - 17/12/2018 05:00

Today, we had a patient projectile vomiting in our ambulance. I didn't know she had puked on our cot until I found it with my bare hand at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 379

You deserved it 204

Bag for life

By Anonymous - 25/02/2021 04:57 - United States

Today, my ambulance got called out for a "stomach pain" patient. Upon assessment, the guy really did have stomach pain. His colostomy bag fell off a week ago, so to stop the crap from falling out, he duct taped it shut. It exploded when I helped him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 73

Hard pass

By Mew - 04/06/2009 12:07 - United States

Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 230

You deserved it 4 087

By alephnull - 02/02/2011 21:07 - Canada

Today, I drove a friend to the emergency room because he thought he had appendicitis. While sitting in the waiting room, I got puked on by a child. My friend's diagnosis? Gas. So he also farted all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 111

You deserved it 3 134

Unplugged

By Anonymous - 12/11/2023 08:00 - Belgium - Merendree

Today, after working many 80+ hour weeks, a patient called to urgently come with their sick infant. Of course, I stayed late to help them. The baby had been constipated for a full 24 hours, and the parents had panicked. During the examination, the baby shat on my table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 88

Pissed

By Anonymous - 14/12/2021 05:01

Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 1 415

Such a rewarding career

By DirtyNurse - 05/12/2020 07:01 - United States - Center Point

Today, I got projectile-vomited on while trying to administer meds to a patient. Twenty minutes later, a patient with schizophrenia threw his shitty diaper at my face. All this happened in the first hour of my 12-hour shift. I didn't bring any extra scrubs and I live an hour away from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 184

Grossed out

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 14:00

Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 798

You deserved it 350

kwchambers92 10

Tuesday 25 October 2011 12:00

Sounds like a mess, a bloody shitty mess...

Buttsexpirate 9

Tuesday 25 October 2011 12:06

His anus is bleeding! I said his anus is bleeding!

Comments

cupcakes729 7

Wednesday 26 October 2011 5:33

Umm.....tmi?

Eddie465 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 8:06

Bring.....bring....amber-lamps

DanielleTheOne 3

Wednesday 26 October 2011 11:29

some poor guys bloody crap was leaking out of his ass, and another poor guys throwing up. Look on the bright side, you're neither of them!

lemiller69 1

Wednesday 26 October 2011 16:35

Can you say HIPAA violation?...

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 26 October 2011 17:37

How exactly is this a HIPAA violation? There would have to be some kind of identifying feature about the patient. You don't know his name, his age, his medical history...you don't even know if he lives in California (where OP is posting from). You don't know JACK SHIT about this patient except that he is a he, therefore there is no violation. Stupid comments about legal shit piss me off.

lemiller69 1

Wednesday 26 October 2011 18:14

You don't have to give specific details about the patient in order for it to be a violation. Saying anything about the patient to ANYONE (including the entire Internet on FMyLife) other than the patients health care workers, legal guardians, or next of kin, is illegal. I work in a hospitals legal office, and I've seen people lose their jobs over less.

fthku 13

Wednesday 26 October 2011 19:28

Today, I was eating as I was reading this FML. FML.

hemz_fml 13

Wednesday 26 October 2011 19:51

Yup....you just explained my last date...

Beowulf209 5

Thursday 27 October 2011 7:31

I'm going to share this with my EMT students. BTW, the ride-a-long should've cleaned your rig! :)

FlonkertonChamp 6

Friday 28 October 2011 6:43

damn, rough ******* day. but thank you for the work that you do. if it weren't for EMTs, my sister would be dead, so seriously... thank you.

Xblondie69X 0

Friday 28 October 2011 11:43

Nastyy!!

xxcaitlinmarie 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 2:01

I'm an EMT and it almost sounds like when my crew found an old German woman with a GI bleed so bad she was stuck to the chair because the blood dried her to it.